So I'm 116 today. Hubby wants me to wait one more bloody day before I begin exercising. I'm less than thrilled. I was ready to exercise yesterday. CM wanted me to wait one day...and now hubby wants me to wait one more. Because I wanted fries today I have to add that to my already heavy load of foods. I hate this. I hate gaining this weight and eating all this food. I don't want to do it anymore. I will though. I have to. I want a child. And that trumps whatever I want in the ED department. But I can see the fat rolls. I can see my stomach expanding. And all I want to do is either exercise like all get out or find some other way to get rid of it.
I'm yet again not in the mood to put out a story. And I'm unsure if anyone really likes my stories anymore after the incest debacle. I might make a link on my fanfic to this site. I'm unsure about it all anymore. I feel so lost. I hate feeling full. I don't like this.
I was ok with being 115. I hate being 116.
-the Silent Observer-
aww honey! idk why but my dashboard only showed all these updates this morning :( Otherwise I would have commented by now.
ReplyDeleteI'm not the biggest fan of yaoi or even erotic stories, so I read the one but not the others. I'm sure they are good though, please don't feel discouraged!
as for the gaining... and not being allowed to exercise, demand that you at least be allowed to weight train or everything you gain back will be fat, which is not what any of you want. It's important that some of it be muscle too... or it will mess up your metabolism for good. It's really important that the regaining of weight be done the right way!
Finally, I'm sure you're not gaining a lot of inches. Have you been measuring? It may be a way to keep yourself sane xoxo
Hi sweetie! Sorry I haven't been around, I just started a new job. Sounds like you're pretty conflicted right now. It's difficult to make people understand how you feel about your body, right? I mean, you could stop saying that you think you look fat, if that would please your hubby... But, it would stop you feeling it, so what would be the point? And bottling up those feelings instead of sharing them will probably just make you feel worse :( Do you think he would understand that?
ReplyDeleteAs for the stories, I'm up for another as soon as you feel cheerful enough too write ^_^ Shame is, the Ana world and the Yaoi world are both pretty small minorities, so together we probably represent the whole of the overlap, lol. You should submit them to a fanfiction site, you will get a lot more appreciation there, because your writing is great!
Keep going, I know you can do this xx
*it WOULDN'T stop you feeling it, sorry!
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