It was a surprising success. Don't get me wrong I worried like hello kitties...I have no more lax and I can't exercise because of my knee (that we are getting checked out sometime this week hopefully =_=....
So yeah...I was trying my best to calm down. It's still gnawing a me...and I know tomorrow is going to be hell cause I know I gained...and I'm so used to losing. But I can do this! I have to!
We were able to get alot of healthy food today. A biiig packet of dried fruit (mine has soy seeds in it! Win!)...wheat thins...fiber one...turkey meat...Silk...and honey wheat bread. We were finally able to get water too.
I was further show how scary low I'd gotten when the thigh part of my pants were super saggy. I didn't think I'd lost thigh fat at all and that shot that to hell in a hand basket.
By thank you for all your support so far! It means alot! Good luck for those on MC...and good luck to those who want help but need the extra push to ask. It's ok! We will always love you! I know I will anyways. I will love and remember every single one of you until the day I die.
I hope I don't spazz too much tomorrow. Starting off cal intake will be 600 instead of 500. Then CM suggests I step it up (along with exercise) when I reach 115 again. Once I hit 115 it's 1200 cals and back to 220 push/sit ups.
I guess it's Sev/slave!Harry for you guys then lol! I'll post it tomorrow I promise!
Be safe you guys! I love you! Good luck!
-the Silent Observer-
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Progress
Well everyone...
I have good news...kind of bittersweet actually. I told Hubby about my disorder finally. Told him about the emails...we both cried...and he made me promise to get better. He said he'd help even though he didn't know what to do. He was so scared that he really didn't want to leave me alone today...luckily it's a Sunday and so that means his day ends at 1 or 2.
He wants me to gain to 120 at least (he really wants me 140 again and I told him no dice...I can't or it will trigger me all over again. You know?) by he end of two months. I told him the main reason I want help...and he said we'd work on it after I reached a healthier weight. I told him it wasn't going to be easy...he asked me to increase my cal intake to 600 a day...and to not lie about how much I took in.
I think it's bittersweet because today I reached 111. I was equal parts happy and scared. Just how much further was I willing to go before I stopped?
I'm going to try to get help though. I am. I want children more than I'm willing to let this disease control my life. I know it will always niggle in the back of my head...but I won't let it control me anymore. I felt so relieved when, instead of laughing it off, he started crying. I know hat sounds mean. At first he pissed me off...telling me 'Just eat! It's that simple!'
Don't worry guys. Both I and my friend CM set him straight.
But then I made him read the emails and...poof suddenly he understood all of what I was attempting (and failing) to say.
So guys. Thank you! All of you! For your continued support and friendship. Please keep me in your collective prayers. Both for a child soon...and that I'm able to beat back this demon into remission/submission.
I love you. All of you! And I hope and pray...that all of you stay safe...that you all know how much I care...even if I get better. I will always care.
I love you all!
-the Silent (getting help) Observer-
Ps- also...what would you guys like to read next? HP/Fen...Sev/slave!Harry...Voldie/slave!Harry?....
I have good news...kind of bittersweet actually. I told Hubby about my disorder finally. Told him about the emails...we both cried...and he made me promise to get better. He said he'd help even though he didn't know what to do. He was so scared that he really didn't want to leave me alone today...luckily it's a Sunday and so that means his day ends at 1 or 2.
He wants me to gain to 120 at least (he really wants me 140 again and I told him no dice...I can't or it will trigger me all over again. You know?) by he end of two months. I told him the main reason I want help...and he said we'd work on it after I reached a healthier weight. I told him it wasn't going to be easy...he asked me to increase my cal intake to 600 a day...and to not lie about how much I took in.
I think it's bittersweet because today I reached 111. I was equal parts happy and scared. Just how much further was I willing to go before I stopped?
I'm going to try to get help though. I am. I want children more than I'm willing to let this disease control my life. I know it will always niggle in the back of my head...but I won't let it control me anymore. I felt so relieved when, instead of laughing it off, he started crying. I know hat sounds mean. At first he pissed me off...telling me 'Just eat! It's that simple!'
Don't worry guys. Both I and my friend CM set him straight.
But then I made him read the emails and...poof suddenly he understood all of what I was attempting (and failing) to say.
So guys. Thank you! All of you! For your continued support and friendship. Please keep me in your collective prayers. Both for a child soon...and that I'm able to beat back this demon into remission/submission.
I love you. All of you! And I hope and pray...that all of you stay safe...that you all know how much I care...even if I get better. I will always care.
I love you all!
-the Silent (getting help) Observer-
Ps- also...what would you guys like to read next? HP/Fen...Sev/slave!Harry...Voldie/slave!Harry?....
Saturday, July 30, 2011
When...
When you would rather go out with your 'friends' than help your wife...is it any wonder you don't know what disease she deals with everyday?
I know you aren't doing this on purpose...but I feel like the lowest person on your list right now. I hate this feeling. So when I've gotten so low that I'm in the hospital...WILL YOU SEE ME THEN?!
-the Silent Observer-
I know you aren't doing this on purpose...but I feel like the lowest person on your list right now. I hate this feeling. So when I've gotten so low that I'm in the hospital...WILL YOU SEE ME THEN?!
-the Silent Observer-
Friday, July 29, 2011
Silence! I kill you!
Ok so before I post the story...I thought I should share that I'm 114 today! Happy dances all around! I'm kind of resigning myself to the fact that hubby just...doesn't need to know right yet. Maybe. I really am lost and confused about this. So if it sounds like I'm being weird I apologize. I ate Green Beans with Tabasco: Chipolte on it. Oh gawd guys...if you love green beans...and hotsauce? I totally recommend it (thanks CM for suggesting it). It's low cal (Meg cal) and epically nummy!
Alright. Now for the story behind this...erm...story. A little bit ago hubby and I were at a party. These people were rowdy and inconsiderate of their housemates who hadn't been made aware of said party. Said roommates had work and needed sleep. Did the partiers care? Nope. It really aggravated me...as I would have at least told everyone they had to leave at a certian time you know? Anyways this story is for those of us that have gone through the same thing...and all we want to do is Avada Kedavra the lot of them.
Enjoy!
Silence! I Kill You!- Fenrir/Harry- Warnings: pissy Harry...mentions of slash...character deaths. Gay bashing (don't worry...the bitch dies...i dislike such people)
SIKY-
Harry rolled over, his eye twitching as the music from next door elevated to volumes incondusive to sleeping. What was their problem? He was trying to sleep! He and Fenrir had had a long (glorious MINDBLOWING ) night and he was tired. Sore. All he wanted to do was curl up in the fluffy comforter and blankets that still smelled of his lover, and go to dreamland until Fen came back.
He growled when there came arguments to join the cacophony of irritating sounds emanating from his neighbors. Really people? Some people had better things to do than drink and party like idiots. Like the war that was still bloody raging. Fenrir was gone for that reason exactly. He was on a mission for the Dark Lord and had been forced to leave early to gather his pack for his task. Bunch of muggles that needed to die and all that rot.
Speaking of muggles.
Harry tried to snuggle into his blankets again. He dragged his penguin and kitty plushies close to press them over each ear, attempting to drown out the horrid noise. It wasn't working. Who really needed to feel the music in their teeth? Did they really need their piss to vibrate?
He wanted to go over there and Crucio the lot of them. It was an interesting thought. An entertaining one.
The music and arguing escalated and Harry threw back the covers with a violent curse and dressed in a pair of Fenrir's silk boxers, ( not that the bastard ever wore them- friggin nudist). He grabbed his wand and opened the door to his room. He cursed some more when he stubbed his toe on one of his shoes and idly wondered if he could convince his lover to kiss it better. Snickering slightly, he flung open the front door to his apartment and stalked to his neighbor's.
He angrily knocked on the door.
A female with too much make up and too little clothes (was that a camel toe ? Harry threw up a little in his mouth) answered the door, popping her chewing gum as she leered at him. Harry's eye twitched once more. He hated women forthis reason exactly. Give him a nice hard cock and rock hard abs any day. Flabby boobs and camel toe? You could keep that to yourself.
Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he sneered.
"I'm trying to sleep, could you please turn it down?" he asked calmly. Oh the headache that was attacking his brain. He really wanted to strangle the bint.
She looked him over like he was a piece of steak and he nearly threw up again.
"Why don't you forget sleeping and join me? I can show you a good time, cutie."
Harry stiffened and glared at her.
"Number one. No. I'm in a committed relationship with a very handsome man. Two, I won't ask you again. Turn. It. Down."
The woman's face became puce coloured and Harry smirked viciously at her anger.
"Fuck you Fag!"
She slammed the door in his face. A few minutes later the volume reached maximum levels. Harry, meanwhile, felt a being throb in his temple and he felt the feral need to tear the bith to pieces.
That's it. They were all dead.
He withdrew his wand and cast Bombarda, followed by quite a few Avada Kedavra's. The partiers screamed as their friends dropped like flies thanks to the shirtless boy with a power stick. It was all over within minutes and then there was blessed silence.
Beautiful.
Harry left the now silent apartment and traveled back to his own. He locked the door behind him, returned to his room. He curled up under his covers and sighed in relief. He wondered how Fenrir would feel about the lack of neighbors. Maybe he'd get extra sex.
Snickering, he inhaled deeply as he cuddled his plushies and fell asleep.
Silence is golden.
-End-
So yus I know it's kind of crack-ish. It was meant merely as a venting story. Humor and all that blah. Lol! But I really hope ou guys enjoyed it! And remember it be time you come across one of these kinds of people lol! Maybe it will calm you down xD
Now please note...I have nothing against partiers. I have everything against inconsiderate people. Such as these. I love you all!
*huggles all her favorite gay people* I love you guys toooo!
- the Silent Observer-
(ps. Bloody iPod did it again guys! Sorry for the typos! Definitely was supposed to say 'Neg cals' not 'Meg cals' but I'm sure you guys understood -hopefully- Also 'being' is supposed to be 'Vein' Fuck! This won't let me scroll up either to fix it...sorry guys x_X)
Alright. Now for the story behind this...erm...story. A little bit ago hubby and I were at a party. These people were rowdy and inconsiderate of their housemates who hadn't been made aware of said party. Said roommates had work and needed sleep. Did the partiers care? Nope. It really aggravated me...as I would have at least told everyone they had to leave at a certian time you know? Anyways this story is for those of us that have gone through the same thing...and all we want to do is Avada Kedavra the lot of them.
Enjoy!
Silence! I Kill You!- Fenrir/Harry- Warnings: pissy Harry...mentions of slash...character deaths. Gay bashing (don't worry...the bitch dies...i dislike such people)
SIKY-
Harry rolled over, his eye twitching as the music from next door elevated to volumes incondusive to sleeping. What was their problem? He was trying to sleep! He and Fenrir had had a long (glorious MINDBLOWING ) night and he was tired. Sore. All he wanted to do was curl up in the fluffy comforter and blankets that still smelled of his lover, and go to dreamland until Fen came back.
He growled when there came arguments to join the cacophony of irritating sounds emanating from his neighbors. Really people? Some people had better things to do than drink and party like idiots. Like the war that was still bloody raging. Fenrir was gone for that reason exactly. He was on a mission for the Dark Lord and had been forced to leave early to gather his pack for his task. Bunch of muggles that needed to die and all that rot.
Speaking of muggles.
Harry tried to snuggle into his blankets again. He dragged his penguin and kitty plushies close to press them over each ear, attempting to drown out the horrid noise. It wasn't working. Who really needed to feel the music in their teeth? Did they really need their piss to vibrate?
He wanted to go over there and Crucio the lot of them. It was an interesting thought. An entertaining one.
The music and arguing escalated and Harry threw back the covers with a violent curse and dressed in a pair of Fenrir's silk boxers, ( not that the bastard ever wore them- friggin nudist). He grabbed his wand and opened the door to his room. He cursed some more when he stubbed his toe on one of his shoes and idly wondered if he could convince his lover to kiss it better. Snickering slightly, he flung open the front door to his apartment and stalked to his neighbor's.
He angrily knocked on the door.
A female with too much make up and too little clothes (was that a camel toe ? Harry threw up a little in his mouth) answered the door, popping her chewing gum as she leered at him. Harry's eye twitched once more. He hated women forthis reason exactly. Give him a nice hard cock and rock hard abs any day. Flabby boobs and camel toe? You could keep that to yourself.
Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he sneered.
"I'm trying to sleep, could you please turn it down?" he asked calmly. Oh the headache that was attacking his brain. He really wanted to strangle the bint.
She looked him over like he was a piece of steak and he nearly threw up again.
"Why don't you forget sleeping and join me? I can show you a good time, cutie."
Harry stiffened and glared at her.
"Number one. No. I'm in a committed relationship with a very handsome man. Two, I won't ask you again. Turn. It. Down."
The woman's face became puce coloured and Harry smirked viciously at her anger.
"Fuck you Fag!"
She slammed the door in his face. A few minutes later the volume reached maximum levels. Harry, meanwhile, felt a being throb in his temple and he felt the feral need to tear the bith to pieces.
That's it. They were all dead.
He withdrew his wand and cast Bombarda, followed by quite a few Avada Kedavra's. The partiers screamed as their friends dropped like flies thanks to the shirtless boy with a power stick. It was all over within minutes and then there was blessed silence.
Beautiful.
Harry left the now silent apartment and traveled back to his own. He locked the door behind him, returned to his room. He curled up under his covers and sighed in relief. He wondered how Fenrir would feel about the lack of neighbors. Maybe he'd get extra sex.
Snickering, he inhaled deeply as he cuddled his plushies and fell asleep.
Silence is golden.
-End-
So yus I know it's kind of crack-ish. It was meant merely as a venting story. Humor and all that blah. Lol! But I really hope ou guys enjoyed it! And remember it be time you come across one of these kinds of people lol! Maybe it will calm you down xD
Now please note...I have nothing against partiers. I have everything against inconsiderate people. Such as these. I love you all!
*huggles all her favorite gay people* I love you guys toooo!
- the Silent Observer-
(ps. Bloody iPod did it again guys! Sorry for the typos! Definitely was supposed to say 'Neg cals' not 'Meg cals' but I'm sure you guys understood -hopefully- Also 'being' is supposed to be 'Vein' Fuck! This won't let me scroll up either to fix it...sorry guys x_X)
What is wrong with me?
So I told hubby before he left for her house that we needed to talk when he got home. I knew he probably wouldn't check his email and I was right. He said ok and so I sat up waiting for him...figuring he'd be there for a few hours and then be home (I very rarely ever say 'We need to talk' so it should have concerned him enough to come home). What do you know he forgets and doesn't come home until 2 in the morning. Thusly I have chickened out in telling him (again!) face to face like CM keeps telling me I need to. But how can I when all the hints I'm throwing out there (for a blind person to see) are being ignored or looked over?!
I'm very close to giving up doesn't he see that? I know he loves me...but really?
On another note. Thank you guys for your kind words. I don't have much hope/strength/whatever to fight this off for much longer. It's killing me guys. In ways I'm sure only you guys can understand. I don't know if any of you believe in God...but please pray (send wishes...whatever) that I'm able to have my child really soon..and beat this shite back...with or without my husbands help. I've done shite on my own before. I can do it again if I need to.
It's slightly harder with this...but I'll figure something out.
Well my knee swelling has gone down..but it now pops and hurts (like it's rubbing against bone) when I move it. So hubby is still taking me (supposedly) to get it checked out.
Let's hope it's nothing that requires surgery.
I love you guys! I promise there will be a story tomorrow!
Thank you so much!
You Guys mean alot to me!
Love always,
-your Silent Observer-
I'm very close to giving up doesn't he see that? I know he loves me...but really?
On another note. Thank you guys for your kind words. I don't have much hope/strength/whatever to fight this off for much longer. It's killing me guys. In ways I'm sure only you guys can understand. I don't know if any of you believe in God...but please pray (send wishes...whatever) that I'm able to have my child really soon..and beat this shite back...with or without my husbands help. I've done shite on my own before. I can do it again if I need to.
It's slightly harder with this...but I'll figure something out.
Well my knee swelling has gone down..but it now pops and hurts (like it's rubbing against bone) when I move it. So hubby is still taking me (supposedly) to get it checked out.
Let's hope it's nothing that requires surgery.
I love you guys! I promise there will be a story tomorrow!
Thank you so much!
You Guys mean alot to me!
Love always,
-your Silent Observer-
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Sooooo
So as proof that this is getting even worse? I ate half of a half bag of popcorn...4 sour patch kids...a packet of Taco Hell hotsauce (fire)....and a packet of PB crackers (190)...and I'm flipping out. Because earlier I had a piece of meat lovers pizza with alot of hotsauce.
I'm spazzing like all get out and...hubby is out again. With the people I'm no longer friends with. I'm alone at home and I'm just...spazzing.
-the Silent Observer-
I'm spazzing like all get out and...hubby is out again. With the people I'm no longer friends with. I'm alone at home and I'm just...spazzing.
-the Silent Observer-
Incredibly foolish?
So I just did something that is either going to help or hurt me. I'm a coward either way but at least he'll know now.
Yeah that's right. I sent an email to hubby telling him...rather subtly...that I have a problem and I need help. I'm scared he'll laugh at me...or try and force me to get better...or that he'll never read the email at all. But at leas I told him. In a way anyways. I just...I'm two pounds from my first UGW...and I already know that it won't be enough. I told you guys before that having a child meant more to me...and I was serious about it.
I'm scared because...what if I go into remission (tobf is right there really is no recovery...more like remission that some of us are lucky enough to achieve full time)...and hubby says we aren't having kids? I know I'll be at square one again. This time no stopping. But I have to try don't I?
Am I being stupid?
Am I trying for something yet again that is just unattainable?
Don't worry guys. I love you all. I won't stop blogging...and regardless of if I remiss or not...I'll encourage and keep track of you all. You guys have helped me so much. And like I said...nothing may happen...I just want to know...am I trying to reach for something that isn't there?
I actually want to go and erase the email. I know I can't and it's sent and all. But. I just don't know anymore. Now I'm having secondthoughts. "You don't need help! You were fine! 115 is too fat! You haven't reached your goal! Quitter just like your father!"
Now I want to hide.
I'm scared guys. Scared of losing more...scared of hubby's reactions...scared of getting help.
Anyways. I'll post another story tomorrow. Or tonight if hubby goes out. I love you guys! Please be safe! Deep breath in. Deep breath out.
-the Silent (spazzing) Observer-
Yeah that's right. I sent an email to hubby telling him...rather subtly...that I have a problem and I need help. I'm scared he'll laugh at me...or try and force me to get better...or that he'll never read the email at all. But at leas I told him. In a way anyways. I just...I'm two pounds from my first UGW...and I already know that it won't be enough. I told you guys before that having a child meant more to me...and I was serious about it.
I'm scared because...what if I go into remission (tobf is right there really is no recovery...more like remission that some of us are lucky enough to achieve full time)...and hubby says we aren't having kids? I know I'll be at square one again. This time no stopping. But I have to try don't I?
Am I being stupid?
Am I trying for something yet again that is just unattainable?
Don't worry guys. I love you all. I won't stop blogging...and regardless of if I remiss or not...I'll encourage and keep track of you all. You guys have helped me so much. And like I said...nothing may happen...I just want to know...am I trying to reach for something that isn't there?
I actually want to go and erase the email. I know I can't and it's sent and all. But. I just don't know anymore. Now I'm having secondthoughts. "You don't need help! You were fine! 115 is too fat! You haven't reached your goal! Quitter just like your father!"
Now I want to hide.
I'm scared guys. Scared of losing more...scared of hubby's reactions...scared of getting help.
Anyways. I'll post another story tomorrow. Or tonight if hubby goes out. I love you guys! Please be safe! Deep breath in. Deep breath out.
-the Silent (spazzing) Observer-
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Distance Made Equal
First, thank you all for trying to cheer me up. I realize I was being silly but 820 seems sooo high and since I can't really exercise (shouldn't but did anyways yesterday)it flips me out. I love you all for the encouragement! And I promise I'm getting my knee Becker out sometime Saturday. Have to wait until hubby gets paid lol!
Secondly, I thought I'd start with my oldest Harry Potter story! (Thank you forthe compliments on my OC story xD Aren't Fawn and Rabbit so adorable?). I warn you now...Harry is always a submissive in my stories. I love him this way and I am one so Harry will be lol! Also I only write slash. Sooo if you don't like Yaoi you might want to skip.
Alot of my stories are oneshots too. So anyways. Here we go.
Distance Made Equal- Draco/Harry-Warnings: mentions of attempted rape. Slash. Ron bashing if you squint and tilt your head to the side.
DME-
Draco heard sniffles as he neared the staircase that led to the upper floors of Hogwarts. He was intrigued despite himself and hurried closer, a ready taunt on his lips. It died quickly when he spotted a battered and thoroughly mussed up Harry Potter. Bane of his existence and...was he cradling his jaw? Rubbing at an ankle?
Draco paused. Harry looked like he'd been beaten severly. Maybe even...
The blond Slytherian inwardly balked at that thought. No one would dare touch Potter like that. Feeling oddly angry at whoever had hurt the Gryffindor prodigy, he glided closer to the bespectacled teen. Those emerald eyes met his own mercury ones and Draco bit on a gasp. Such pain resided in those green jewels that for a moment Malfoy wondered if there had ever been happiness in their depths. Finally, their intense eye battle ended as Harry looked away.
"Whatdo you want, Malfoy?"
Draco winced at the tired and deflated tone. For a second time in a matter of minutes, Draco wanted to throttle whoever had done this damage to his prey.
"You look like shite, Potter." he stated with a raised brow.
The laugh that Harry barked out was amused as well as irritated in sound.
"Always the charmer, huh Malfoy?" his eyes were slightly wary, but if Draco looked closely he noted the was mild amusement.
Draco flashed him a quick smirk before his brows furrowed.
"Who did this to you?" he questioned calmly. His eyes of silver, however, glinted with his anger.
Harry looked away again, a flash of shame, anger, pain, and finally defeat passed trough his gaze. The hand on his jaw dropped to his lap and he curled in on himself.
"Leave it be Malfoy." he moaned and winced when a twinge shot through his leg.
"Fuuuck." he hissed and clutched at his ankle.
Draco tsked in annoyance and dropped to his knees. He gently but firmly prodded Harry's hands away and took the injured ankle in question into his hands.
"Malfoy what- ah!" came the surprised gasp and Draco smirked a moment before resuming his massage of Harry's injured limb.
"Sprained is all." the Slytherian muttered and watched with satisfaction as Harry's eyelids fluttered shut, a moan of pleasure escaping his lips.
"Feel better?" Draco inquired and shivered when Harry arched into his touch.
The blond narrowed his eyes. So the rumors were true. Potter was into cock. He filed that away as he pressed into a particularly knotted spot and almost creamed his pants when Harry arched again and gasped out :
"Oh gods, Draco!"
He applied the pressure of his fingers to that spot. After a while he deemed Harry fit enough to at least limp without too much pain. He reluctantly let Harry's foot go and sat back to look the panting teen over.
"Tell mewhat happened, Harry." he said softly, eyes never leaving Harry's emerald gaze when it finally rested on him.
The raven haired teen licked at his bottom lip and Draco's eyes immediately zeroed in on the action.
"Why do you suddenly care, Draco?"
Since when had they been on first names? Draco mentally shrugged. Whatever. Harry intrigued him. He'd never seen the 'Chosen' Harry Potter so...off guard. Harry continued to appear cautious and Draco finally shook his head.
"I don't rightly know. You should answer anyways. I don't feel like badgering you all night but I will."
Harry winced and dragged a shaking hand through his hair. He nervously licked at his lips and Draco felt his cock harden. That tongue was sinful.
"I..." he paused," I was beaten...and almost...almost..." Harry shuddered and swallowed, tightly closing his eyes. He never noticed Draco's eyes glitter with supressed rage.
"Raped?" Draco supplied and nearly growled when Harry flinched and timidly nodded.
"Who did it?" he whispered, a portrait of perfect calm.
Harry knew better. He'd been secretly obsessed with Malfoy for years. He knew the Slytherian better than he knew his own friends. He secretly loved the older teen.
"It doesn't matter, Draco." he whispered and bowed his head.
Abruptly his companion stood. Expecting to be hit, the Gryffindor Seeker flinched, and was ashamed o the weakness. He heard Draco curse then felt those thin pale fingers rest under his chin, forcing him to lock gazes with fiery silver eyes. Harry couldn't hide his moan of arousal even if he wanted to. The look Draco was giving him was possessive...hot. The Slytherian's eyes fluttered at the sound.
"Answer me Harry."
It was a command that Harry, against all his instincts, couldn't deny.
"Crabbe. Goyle. They cornered me after Snape let me out of detention." he rasped and watched with surprise as Draco's expression changed from shock to disgust.
"Maggots." came Malfoy's hiss of hatred and Harry shrunk a little.
Seeing the reaction, the Slytherian Seeker's countenance softened and he gently ran his other hand through Harry's hair, eliciting another groan of arousal.
"I shall deal with them." Draco's voice dripped with promises Harry couldn't even begin to interpret.
Harry leaned into the blond's touch and sighed.
"Draco. Why do you care?"
The teen stiffened but resumed his gentle touches.
"No one hurts what is mine." was the growled response.
Emerald met silver, desire crackling in the air and Harry found himself not minding one bit at the thought of being ravished right then and there.
"Yours?"
Draco nodded and leaned down to swiftly and passionately claim Harry's mouth with his own. Harry groaned and was going to lean further in when a rush of footsteps drove them apart.
"Harry!"
"Blimey Harry! We got here as fast as we could!"
Draco sneered and stepped back, making Harry whimper at the loss. After a second of debate, the snake resumed his previous task of running his hand in Harry's hair.
The lion in question sent him a grateful look and Draco preened at the attention.
"Malfoy?"
Draco cast a glare at Granger and Weasley as they stopped beside their friend. Seeing their astonished faces brought him endless amounts of amusement.
"Granger. Weasley. So nice of you to make an appearance."
This produced a string of curses from Weasley, who made to step forward but was waylaid by Harry, who stood with a yelp and limped in front of Draco.
"Stop, Ron. I've had enough violence for one night." Harry said through clenched teeth, new pain in his ankle making him favor his leg.
Draco rolled his eyes and sidled up beside Harry, dragging the brunet's arm over his shoulder, even as he slipped his arm around Harry's waist. He was rewarded with a small smile of graditude and the blond nodded slightly.
"Harry who did this to you?" asked Hermione, causing Harry to tense and Draco to growl.
"Don't worry about it, Granger." Draco snapped and felt a new anger sweep through him when he felt Harry relax against him once more.
*Stupid Mudblood, making Harry remember this shite all over again.* Draco though viciously.
Ron scowled.
"Fuck off, Malfoy! He's our friend and it's our right to know!"
Draco sneered and was going to reply when he felt Harry steak ten a little. Even the snake gasped when Harry laid his head on Draco's shoulder.
"Don't goad them, Draco."
Draco clenched his teeth but he sniffed and nodded. Surprise flitted through Hermione's eyes before a small grin could be seen.
"Forgive us Harry. You know how much we care for to." she turned her all knowing gaze on Draco and tilted her head." I suppose you know who they are and intend to make these miscreants suffer?"
Draco's smile was purely preditorial as he gave a curt nod. Hermione chuckled darkly then sighed. Grabbing Ron's robes, she tugged on them as she started back down the hall.
"Take care of him, Malfoy. I don't want to have to hex you and make Harry angry." was the young woman's reply and Draco snorted.
He liked her in spite of himself. His attention reverted Weasley, who was glaring a him but saying nothing as he was toted off. Then they were gone and Harry fully sagged against Dracos body.
"Draco, please, take me to Madame Pomfrey or something. This pain is too much." came Harry's whispered voice and Draco cursed his slowness of doing the healing sooner.
"You don't need her. Not for a sprain."
Harry winced.
"it's not just a sprain you nit. I think I have a broken rib or two."
Dracos rage at his former friends increased.
"Right. Let's go."
They started off at a slow pace and they were silent for sometime.
"Draco"
"Hm?"
"Thank you."
Draco lifted a perfectly sculpted brow but nodded. He knew Harry would have done the same for him, regardless of their roles in each other's lives.
"Harry."
"Yes?"
"I meant what I said earlier."
A puzzled pause.
"About what?"
Draco locked gazes with Harry once more and growled low.
"You are mine."
He witnessed with unconcealed pleasure as his words caused Harry to pant.
"Ok," another pause," But that means you are mine as well." Harry snapped, a sudden fierceness in his green eyes.
Draco scoffed but smiled gently.
"Whatever Harry."
Harry grinned and Draco felt as if he'd been suckerpunched.
"When I'm better, we'll see who claims who first, Draco."
A shiver stole through the blond and he licked his lips with a feral grin.
"I look forward to it, lover."
Harry blushed and as they entered Madame Pomfrey's domain, wondered exactly where this new road would take him. He grinned. He couldn't wait to find out.
-end-
Ok I know it's OOC, like whoa, but it was my first HP story. And I also know that people who are abused don't trus so easily afterwards (trust me I know first hand)...but it is only a oneshot..and it's AU. In my mind (however unrealistic it might end up being) I likethe happy fluffy endings. I've been working on making my newer work more realistic...so please bare with my older writing style TT-TT it's so horrible lol!
Also this story is after Voldie-love has been defeated(sob!).
Well now that I can't see without my eyes crossing...I'll leave this for ou guys to read. I hope you like it! Love you all! And be safe!
-The Silent Observer-
(ps. *checked not Becker...my iPod has auto correct and for some reason the touch screen likes being a jerk off. Lol! If there are anymore I'm sorry!)
Secondly, I thought I'd start with my oldest Harry Potter story! (Thank you forthe compliments on my OC story xD Aren't Fawn and Rabbit so adorable?). I warn you now...Harry is always a submissive in my stories. I love him this way and I am one so Harry will be lol! Also I only write slash. Sooo if you don't like Yaoi you might want to skip.
Alot of my stories are oneshots too. So anyways. Here we go.
Distance Made Equal- Draco/Harry-Warnings: mentions of attempted rape. Slash. Ron bashing if you squint and tilt your head to the side.
DME-
Draco heard sniffles as he neared the staircase that led to the upper floors of Hogwarts. He was intrigued despite himself and hurried closer, a ready taunt on his lips. It died quickly when he spotted a battered and thoroughly mussed up Harry Potter. Bane of his existence and...was he cradling his jaw? Rubbing at an ankle?
Draco paused. Harry looked like he'd been beaten severly. Maybe even...
The blond Slytherian inwardly balked at that thought. No one would dare touch Potter like that. Feeling oddly angry at whoever had hurt the Gryffindor prodigy, he glided closer to the bespectacled teen. Those emerald eyes met his own mercury ones and Draco bit on a gasp. Such pain resided in those green jewels that for a moment Malfoy wondered if there had ever been happiness in their depths. Finally, their intense eye battle ended as Harry looked away.
"Whatdo you want, Malfoy?"
Draco winced at the tired and deflated tone. For a second time in a matter of minutes, Draco wanted to throttle whoever had done this damage to his prey.
"You look like shite, Potter." he stated with a raised brow.
The laugh that Harry barked out was amused as well as irritated in sound.
"Always the charmer, huh Malfoy?" his eyes were slightly wary, but if Draco looked closely he noted the was mild amusement.
Draco flashed him a quick smirk before his brows furrowed.
"Who did this to you?" he questioned calmly. His eyes of silver, however, glinted with his anger.
Harry looked away again, a flash of shame, anger, pain, and finally defeat passed trough his gaze. The hand on his jaw dropped to his lap and he curled in on himself.
"Leave it be Malfoy." he moaned and winced when a twinge shot through his leg.
"Fuuuck." he hissed and clutched at his ankle.
Draco tsked in annoyance and dropped to his knees. He gently but firmly prodded Harry's hands away and took the injured ankle in question into his hands.
"Malfoy what- ah!" came the surprised gasp and Draco smirked a moment before resuming his massage of Harry's injured limb.
"Sprained is all." the Slytherian muttered and watched with satisfaction as Harry's eyelids fluttered shut, a moan of pleasure escaping his lips.
"Feel better?" Draco inquired and shivered when Harry arched into his touch.
The blond narrowed his eyes. So the rumors were true. Potter was into cock. He filed that away as he pressed into a particularly knotted spot and almost creamed his pants when Harry arched again and gasped out :
"Oh gods, Draco!"
He applied the pressure of his fingers to that spot. After a while he deemed Harry fit enough to at least limp without too much pain. He reluctantly let Harry's foot go and sat back to look the panting teen over.
"Tell mewhat happened, Harry." he said softly, eyes never leaving Harry's emerald gaze when it finally rested on him.
The raven haired teen licked at his bottom lip and Draco's eyes immediately zeroed in on the action.
"Why do you suddenly care, Draco?"
Since when had they been on first names? Draco mentally shrugged. Whatever. Harry intrigued him. He'd never seen the 'Chosen' Harry Potter so...off guard. Harry continued to appear cautious and Draco finally shook his head.
"I don't rightly know. You should answer anyways. I don't feel like badgering you all night but I will."
Harry winced and dragged a shaking hand through his hair. He nervously licked at his lips and Draco felt his cock harden. That tongue was sinful.
"I..." he paused," I was beaten...and almost...almost..." Harry shuddered and swallowed, tightly closing his eyes. He never noticed Draco's eyes glitter with supressed rage.
"Raped?" Draco supplied and nearly growled when Harry flinched and timidly nodded.
"Who did it?" he whispered, a portrait of perfect calm.
Harry knew better. He'd been secretly obsessed with Malfoy for years. He knew the Slytherian better than he knew his own friends. He secretly loved the older teen.
"It doesn't matter, Draco." he whispered and bowed his head.
Abruptly his companion stood. Expecting to be hit, the Gryffindor Seeker flinched, and was ashamed o the weakness. He heard Draco curse then felt those thin pale fingers rest under his chin, forcing him to lock gazes with fiery silver eyes. Harry couldn't hide his moan of arousal even if he wanted to. The look Draco was giving him was possessive...hot. The Slytherian's eyes fluttered at the sound.
"Answer me Harry."
It was a command that Harry, against all his instincts, couldn't deny.
"Crabbe. Goyle. They cornered me after Snape let me out of detention." he rasped and watched with surprise as Draco's expression changed from shock to disgust.
"Maggots." came Malfoy's hiss of hatred and Harry shrunk a little.
Seeing the reaction, the Slytherian Seeker's countenance softened and he gently ran his other hand through Harry's hair, eliciting another groan of arousal.
"I shall deal with them." Draco's voice dripped with promises Harry couldn't even begin to interpret.
Harry leaned into the blond's touch and sighed.
"Draco. Why do you care?"
The teen stiffened but resumed his gentle touches.
"No one hurts what is mine." was the growled response.
Emerald met silver, desire crackling in the air and Harry found himself not minding one bit at the thought of being ravished right then and there.
"Yours?"
Draco nodded and leaned down to swiftly and passionately claim Harry's mouth with his own. Harry groaned and was going to lean further in when a rush of footsteps drove them apart.
"Harry!"
"Blimey Harry! We got here as fast as we could!"
Draco sneered and stepped back, making Harry whimper at the loss. After a second of debate, the snake resumed his previous task of running his hand in Harry's hair.
The lion in question sent him a grateful look and Draco preened at the attention.
"Malfoy?"
Draco cast a glare at Granger and Weasley as they stopped beside their friend. Seeing their astonished faces brought him endless amounts of amusement.
"Granger. Weasley. So nice of you to make an appearance."
This produced a string of curses from Weasley, who made to step forward but was waylaid by Harry, who stood with a yelp and limped in front of Draco.
"Stop, Ron. I've had enough violence for one night." Harry said through clenched teeth, new pain in his ankle making him favor his leg.
Draco rolled his eyes and sidled up beside Harry, dragging the brunet's arm over his shoulder, even as he slipped his arm around Harry's waist. He was rewarded with a small smile of graditude and the blond nodded slightly.
"Harry who did this to you?" asked Hermione, causing Harry to tense and Draco to growl.
"Don't worry about it, Granger." Draco snapped and felt a new anger sweep through him when he felt Harry relax against him once more.
*Stupid Mudblood, making Harry remember this shite all over again.* Draco though viciously.
Ron scowled.
"Fuck off, Malfoy! He's our friend and it's our right to know!"
Draco sneered and was going to reply when he felt Harry steak ten a little. Even the snake gasped when Harry laid his head on Draco's shoulder.
"Don't goad them, Draco."
Draco clenched his teeth but he sniffed and nodded. Surprise flitted through Hermione's eyes before a small grin could be seen.
"Forgive us Harry. You know how much we care for to." she turned her all knowing gaze on Draco and tilted her head." I suppose you know who they are and intend to make these miscreants suffer?"
Draco's smile was purely preditorial as he gave a curt nod. Hermione chuckled darkly then sighed. Grabbing Ron's robes, she tugged on them as she started back down the hall.
"Take care of him, Malfoy. I don't want to have to hex you and make Harry angry." was the young woman's reply and Draco snorted.
He liked her in spite of himself. His attention reverted Weasley, who was glaring a him but saying nothing as he was toted off. Then they were gone and Harry fully sagged against Dracos body.
"Draco, please, take me to Madame Pomfrey or something. This pain is too much." came Harry's whispered voice and Draco cursed his slowness of doing the healing sooner.
"You don't need her. Not for a sprain."
Harry winced.
"it's not just a sprain you nit. I think I have a broken rib or two."
Dracos rage at his former friends increased.
"Right. Let's go."
They started off at a slow pace and they were silent for sometime.
"Draco"
"Hm?"
"Thank you."
Draco lifted a perfectly sculpted brow but nodded. He knew Harry would have done the same for him, regardless of their roles in each other's lives.
"Harry."
"Yes?"
"I meant what I said earlier."
A puzzled pause.
"About what?"
Draco locked gazes with Harry once more and growled low.
"You are mine."
He witnessed with unconcealed pleasure as his words caused Harry to pant.
"Ok," another pause," But that means you are mine as well." Harry snapped, a sudden fierceness in his green eyes.
Draco scoffed but smiled gently.
"Whatever Harry."
Harry grinned and Draco felt as if he'd been suckerpunched.
"When I'm better, we'll see who claims who first, Draco."
A shiver stole through the blond and he licked his lips with a feral grin.
"I look forward to it, lover."
Harry blushed and as they entered Madame Pomfrey's domain, wondered exactly where this new road would take him. He grinned. He couldn't wait to find out.
-end-
Ok I know it's OOC, like whoa, but it was my first HP story. And I also know that people who are abused don't trus so easily afterwards (trust me I know first hand)...but it is only a oneshot..and it's AU. In my mind (however unrealistic it might end up being) I likethe happy fluffy endings. I've been working on making my newer work more realistic...so please bare with my older writing style TT-TT it's so horrible lol!
Also this story is after Voldie-love has been defeated(sob!).
Well now that I can't see without my eyes crossing...I'll leave this for ou guys to read. I hope you like it! Love you all! And be safe!
-The Silent Observer-
(ps. *checked not Becker...my iPod has auto correct and for some reason the touch screen likes being a jerk off. Lol! If there are anymore I'm sorry!)
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
No mas!
Ok so... I'm kind of sad. Ok really I'm flipping out. I haven't said anything here I don't think but my knee has been swollen since Saturday. Sunday it was bad enough I had trouble walking but I could still pretty much walk on it. Yesterday and today I'm forced to walk on my tippy toes because I can't put full weight on my left leg. It's like my knee is numb and there's almost a squishy gel like cushion in between my leg bones instead of a kneecap. It's really hard to explain and I promise that's not accurate completely..but that's the best I can do.
Soooo because of this I can't really exercise (I totally cheated and did sit ups on the bed lol!). So you'd think I would be careful not to binge right? Nope. I had a slice of pizza. Theeeen I found myself with another one and by the time I'd come to my senses it was totally too late. I had a total of 820 calories today (had a soda) and I feel fat bloated and disgusting. I really want to cry. So as punishment I'm folding up my hurt leg (even though it hurts) and I'm just waiting it out.
On a side note...I added more to Death's Sacrifice even though I'm still stuck on chapter 1 lol! Also I'd like to post another story but I need help deciding what to post. I have Beyblade, one Digimon, Yu Yu Hakusho, Soul-Eater, Naruto, Bleach, and Harry Potter. I have a few originals buuut I'm really scared about posting them as they are no where near done.
So if you guys have any requests please suggest them! And I'll rummage through my pile( huge stack) of notebooks for your preferred theme lol!
I love you guys! Be safe!
-the Silent Observer-
Soooo because of this I can't really exercise (I totally cheated and did sit ups on the bed lol!). So you'd think I would be careful not to binge right? Nope. I had a slice of pizza. Theeeen I found myself with another one and by the time I'd come to my senses it was totally too late. I had a total of 820 calories today (had a soda) and I feel fat bloated and disgusting. I really want to cry. So as punishment I'm folding up my hurt leg (even though it hurts) and I'm just waiting it out.
On a side note...I added more to Death's Sacrifice even though I'm still stuck on chapter 1 lol! Also I'd like to post another story but I need help deciding what to post. I have Beyblade, one Digimon, Yu Yu Hakusho, Soul-Eater, Naruto, Bleach, and Harry Potter. I have a few originals buuut I'm really scared about posting them as they are no where near done.
So if you guys have any requests please suggest them! And I'll rummage through my pile( huge stack) of notebooks for your preferred theme lol!
I love you guys! Be safe!
-the Silent Observer-
Monday, July 25, 2011
The Thieves
Ok so first I'd like to warn you guys that this is Twincest,ok? I'm a big fan of it and all that hoopla. Also I'm still 115. Totally random lol! Annnd I should really warn you that this is old. Like...2003-04 old. My writing has improved (slightly) so I apologize for it's...roughness. It ends abruptly because my ideas fizzled out lol! So any plot ideas and the like would be lovely guys...
The Thieves- Fawn/Rabbit- Warnings: Slash...Twincest...magic...stealing (it's wrong kids! Lol)...child abuse (of multiple kinds)...and if there's anything I missed I'm sorry. Onward!
T.T.-
Fawn winced as the leather strip bit into his skin. He had to get free! Who else was going to save his twin? He heard a familiar scream echo through the halls of their house, and it made him even angrier.
"The old man's getting better." he stated and struggled harder against his leather restraints.
Of the two of them, Fawn was the stronger and more agile. Where as his brother was more docile, Fawn had no problem with beating you to a pulp and then asking your bleeding corpse questions later on. Most people stayed clear of Rabbit when Fawn was nearby. Thy knew if they tried anything, Fawn would most likely kill them.
However, that didn't matter. Rabbit and Fawn were never apart. Their powers were heightened when together, making them even stronger.
"Rabbit." he whispered, knowing his brother was in extreme pain.
SNAP!
Fawn broke free of his bonds and raced out of the closet he had been placed into, and down the hall where his brother was being beaten. He smashed open the door and stopped. Never had he seen so much blood. Especially since it was his brother's. Fawn growled and glared angrily at their father. His anger increase when he noticed that his brother's pants were no longer on his slender form. Not only had he been beaten, he'd been sodomized.
"Father. How dare you!" he ground out behind clenched teeth.
Their father turned away from Rabbit, who was staring at his brother with wide frightened eyes, and towards Fawn.
"Why do you complain? You have sex with him every night if you can." Father pointed out.
Fawn clenched his fists. His blue eyes darkened to the colour blue streaked in his black hair. He lowered his head.
"Yes. I do it because he has allowed me to. He said he loved me and only me. And I..." his eyes met Rabbit's. They softened slightly as he continued,"...I love him."
A small whimper escaped Rabbit's lips as he turned his head and began to cry.
Fawn brought his attention back to his Father.
"Let him go."
Father refused.
Fawn readied himself to fight and cast another loving glance his brother's way.
"Fawn!"
The scene was fading around him.
What was going on?
"Fawn!"
---
"Fawn!"
Fawn awoke to his brother's concerned face, inches from his own. He slowly opened his eyes and was met with a relieved sigh. How had he ended up like this to begin with? He searched his memory and blinked in remembrance. Rabbit and he had been on a mission to take the most valued Owl Ivory Statue ever made. They had been successful but had been knocked out in the process due to unforeseen magical traps.
"Fawn are you ok? Hey!"
Fawn's blue eyes swiveled to catch his brother's green ones.
"Shut up, idiot," he croaked, and Rabbit grinned, leaning forward to hug him close.
The heat from his body sent shockwaves of pleasure through Fawn's. He moaned in response to the close contact. He had promised himself he would never tell his brother how he felt for him but it was getting increasingly hard for that to happen. His brother, thankfully, mistook his moan for one of pain, and sat back. The worry had returned to his gaze.
"Did I hurt something?"
Fawn rolled his eyes and slowly sat up.
"No, stupid. Where are we?" he looked around him inquisitively. He was in a room. Not too big yet not small either. It's walls were black and it's curtains were a dark crimson velvet. The bed he was on (or rather...in), was a queen sized bed with tall dark wooden posts and a black canopy over top. The sheets were thick and had intertwined red dragons in flight as it's design. The black background enhanced the effect of the portrait. The pillows were satin, matching the over all colour scheme of the room. Red ribbons decorated their top two corners while lace trim traced the outside.
Rabbit giggled at Fawn's open mouthed expression.
"Remember that hideout I'd told you I'd made? This is it. Don't worry. Jerry has the statue."
Fawn took a second look and whistled.
"You've been doing this how long?"
Rabbit winked but shook his head.
"I'm not telling you anything." he replied with a grin.
Fawn hit him with one ofthe pillows. Rabbit giggled and hit back...thus insued the pillow fight. Fawn secretly vowed he would make his twin laugh and giggle as much as he could. He decided it was a sound he liked hearing. He remembered his dream and sighed. Although the events were true...the confessing was only fantasy. His brother and he hadn't even shared the bed except for sleeping. In a way it made Fawn want his brother even more. They had no one except for each other. So naturally, when Fawn was alone, he'd be found jerking off to a picture of his brother. Or a fantasy of them making love. He couldn't help it. Compared to all the people, male or female,he'd met, his brother wasthe only one he wanted. The only one he could trust.
He shook himself from his thoughts and brought up the pillow in his hands too late.
FWUMP!
He lay back on the bed, laughing. Something he only did when he was with his brother. He lay like that for a long while, just laughing, until his brother pounced on him. Rabbit landed on his brother's stomach. Although Fawn could feel Rabbit's closeness, he supersede his urge to moan and instead giggled a bit. He poked Rabbit's side, causing said boy to wiggle on top of him.
Bad move.
Fawn moaned and turned his head to the side, gripping the sheets of the bed as pleasure wracked his entire body. Rabbt stopped, thinking he'd hurt his brother in some way.
"Fawn? What's wrong?"
Fawn fought the urge to press his hips against his twin's and locked eyes with said boy. Rabbit saw an emotion he'd seen only once before. The look of lust his father had had before he'd sodomized him. The look, he noticed with excitement and relief, was slightly different in his brother's eyes.
"You remember when you told me you loved me? And I shrugged it off?"
Rabbit nodded.
"I did that because I love you too. More than I should."
Rabbt was confused now. He stated as much.
"I want you."
Rabbit blinked, then it sank in what his twin was telling him.
"You want to do what father did?"
Fawn winced. He'd forgotten. Rabbit had experienced the less then pleasent side of sex. He shook his head.
"Not exactly. I won't be after you purely out of lust. I do love you. More than anyone. I want to be with you."
The blond twin blinked again.
"So you're asking me...to be your boyfriend?" a light of joy played in his green eyes.
Fawn nodded slowly.
Rabbit leaned forward and laid his head on Fawn's chest. He sighed.
"I love you too,Fawn. More than anyone. Ever." he finally replied.
Fawn moaned in relief and brought up his arms to wrap around his brother. They stayed in each other's arms for quite a while. Neither paying any attention to what was happening around them. Finally, when they began to stir again, they disengaged their bodies from one another. Rabbit stood and lightly brushed himself off.
"You want anything to eat?" he asked with a smile.
Fawn laughed nervously as his stomach rumbled.
"Sure." he replied.
Rabbit giggled and walked out of the room.
---
A knock at the door signaled they were no longer alone. They couldn't discuss what they were going to do next in terms of the next hit. Rabbit opened the door to his hideout and grinned even before he uttered the word 'hello'. Fawn was confused until he saw who it was.
"Theo? Is that you?" he asked, trying to sit up properly.
The silver eyed ex-priest bowed his head in respect.
"Fawnie." he replied with a sneer, his deeper baritone shook the twins to their marrow whenever he spoke.
Fawn glared at the brown haired twenty eight year old.
"Ha.Ha. Ha. Cut the crap, what are you doing here?"
Rabbit looked at his brother guiltily as he changed positions from his Mentor's side to his twin's.
"Sorry. I invited Master to come over. He promised to help you with your shielding technique." he confessed.
Theodore smiled and nodded. Fawn was surprised. Theo normally didn't smile for anyone. A momentary flash of protectiveness shot through him until he noted that Theo was smiling at Rabbit as if he were older brother to them. Fawn sighed in relief and relaxed a bit.
"So when can the lazy bum get out of bed?"
Lazy?!
Fawn gritted his teeth and retrained himself from coming back with a scathing retort. Rabbit found it funny and giggled.
"In a few days unfortunately. Would you like to stay until then?" the green eyed thief asked, straightening the covers that still hid Fawn's body from sight.
Theo nodded. He was more than happy to do that. Of course he was also very hungry. Rabbit snickered and bounded off to make something for his Mentor. When he was gone, Theodore turned to look Fawn over.
"Now. I see he's happier than normal. Is he ok?"
Fawn blushed and looked away.
"He's fine."
Theo grinned.
"You told him didn't you?"
A nod.
"He accepted?"
The blush that fanned across Fawn's nose darkened and he nodded again.
Theo smiled, happy-if not a little jealous- for the twins.
--that's it--
Yup that's all I had! See what I mean? My brain just went poof and died. Ok some explanations. Fawn and Rabbit share powers over elements. But Fawn's powers are mostly defensive (although they are very aggressive) while Rabbits are offensive. Theodore's power is over the music element and he has both the offensive and defensive abilities. He found the twins after they had run off from their father. He's beenteaching them for about two years by the time this story starts up. Jerry is their contact. He tells them of different places they can hit, to steal a magical object that would otherwise be used as a weapon against other elementals likethemselves. They basically are like Robin Hood I suppose lol!
Theo kinda has a crush on Rabbit, but Rabbit and Fawn only have eyes for each other. I never came up with actual names for them soooo suggestions would be nice too lol! That is if this story grabbed at you. I'd have to re-write it and all that but..I don't mind as it's only three pages in anyways. Let me know what you think!
-the Silent Observer-
The Thieves- Fawn/Rabbit- Warnings: Slash...Twincest...magic...stealing (it's wrong kids! Lol)...child abuse (of multiple kinds)...and if there's anything I missed I'm sorry. Onward!
T.T.-
Fawn winced as the leather strip bit into his skin. He had to get free! Who else was going to save his twin? He heard a familiar scream echo through the halls of their house, and it made him even angrier.
"The old man's getting better." he stated and struggled harder against his leather restraints.
Of the two of them, Fawn was the stronger and more agile. Where as his brother was more docile, Fawn had no problem with beating you to a pulp and then asking your bleeding corpse questions later on. Most people stayed clear of Rabbit when Fawn was nearby. Thy knew if they tried anything, Fawn would most likely kill them.
However, that didn't matter. Rabbit and Fawn were never apart. Their powers were heightened when together, making them even stronger.
"Rabbit." he whispered, knowing his brother was in extreme pain.
SNAP!
Fawn broke free of his bonds and raced out of the closet he had been placed into, and down the hall where his brother was being beaten. He smashed open the door and stopped. Never had he seen so much blood. Especially since it was his brother's. Fawn growled and glared angrily at their father. His anger increase when he noticed that his brother's pants were no longer on his slender form. Not only had he been beaten, he'd been sodomized.
"Father. How dare you!" he ground out behind clenched teeth.
Their father turned away from Rabbit, who was staring at his brother with wide frightened eyes, and towards Fawn.
"Why do you complain? You have sex with him every night if you can." Father pointed out.
Fawn clenched his fists. His blue eyes darkened to the colour blue streaked in his black hair. He lowered his head.
"Yes. I do it because he has allowed me to. He said he loved me and only me. And I..." his eyes met Rabbit's. They softened slightly as he continued,"...I love him."
A small whimper escaped Rabbit's lips as he turned his head and began to cry.
Fawn brought his attention back to his Father.
"Let him go."
Father refused.
Fawn readied himself to fight and cast another loving glance his brother's way.
"Fawn!"
The scene was fading around him.
What was going on?
"Fawn!"
---
"Fawn!"
Fawn awoke to his brother's concerned face, inches from his own. He slowly opened his eyes and was met with a relieved sigh. How had he ended up like this to begin with? He searched his memory and blinked in remembrance. Rabbit and he had been on a mission to take the most valued Owl Ivory Statue ever made. They had been successful but had been knocked out in the process due to unforeseen magical traps.
"Fawn are you ok? Hey!"
Fawn's blue eyes swiveled to catch his brother's green ones.
"Shut up, idiot," he croaked, and Rabbit grinned, leaning forward to hug him close.
The heat from his body sent shockwaves of pleasure through Fawn's. He moaned in response to the close contact. He had promised himself he would never tell his brother how he felt for him but it was getting increasingly hard for that to happen. His brother, thankfully, mistook his moan for one of pain, and sat back. The worry had returned to his gaze.
"Did I hurt something?"
Fawn rolled his eyes and slowly sat up.
"No, stupid. Where are we?" he looked around him inquisitively. He was in a room. Not too big yet not small either. It's walls were black and it's curtains were a dark crimson velvet. The bed he was on (or rather...in), was a queen sized bed with tall dark wooden posts and a black canopy over top. The sheets were thick and had intertwined red dragons in flight as it's design. The black background enhanced the effect of the portrait. The pillows were satin, matching the over all colour scheme of the room. Red ribbons decorated their top two corners while lace trim traced the outside.
Rabbit giggled at Fawn's open mouthed expression.
"Remember that hideout I'd told you I'd made? This is it. Don't worry. Jerry has the statue."
Fawn took a second look and whistled.
"You've been doing this how long?"
Rabbit winked but shook his head.
"I'm not telling you anything." he replied with a grin.
Fawn hit him with one ofthe pillows. Rabbit giggled and hit back...thus insued the pillow fight. Fawn secretly vowed he would make his twin laugh and giggle as much as he could. He decided it was a sound he liked hearing. He remembered his dream and sighed. Although the events were true...the confessing was only fantasy. His brother and he hadn't even shared the bed except for sleeping. In a way it made Fawn want his brother even more. They had no one except for each other. So naturally, when Fawn was alone, he'd be found jerking off to a picture of his brother. Or a fantasy of them making love. He couldn't help it. Compared to all the people, male or female,he'd met, his brother wasthe only one he wanted. The only one he could trust.
He shook himself from his thoughts and brought up the pillow in his hands too late.
FWUMP!
He lay back on the bed, laughing. Something he only did when he was with his brother. He lay like that for a long while, just laughing, until his brother pounced on him. Rabbit landed on his brother's stomach. Although Fawn could feel Rabbit's closeness, he supersede his urge to moan and instead giggled a bit. He poked Rabbit's side, causing said boy to wiggle on top of him.
Bad move.
Fawn moaned and turned his head to the side, gripping the sheets of the bed as pleasure wracked his entire body. Rabbt stopped, thinking he'd hurt his brother in some way.
"Fawn? What's wrong?"
Fawn fought the urge to press his hips against his twin's and locked eyes with said boy. Rabbit saw an emotion he'd seen only once before. The look of lust his father had had before he'd sodomized him. The look, he noticed with excitement and relief, was slightly different in his brother's eyes.
"You remember when you told me you loved me? And I shrugged it off?"
Rabbit nodded.
"I did that because I love you too. More than I should."
Rabbt was confused now. He stated as much.
"I want you."
Rabbit blinked, then it sank in what his twin was telling him.
"You want to do what father did?"
Fawn winced. He'd forgotten. Rabbit had experienced the less then pleasent side of sex. He shook his head.
"Not exactly. I won't be after you purely out of lust. I do love you. More than anyone. I want to be with you."
The blond twin blinked again.
"So you're asking me...to be your boyfriend?" a light of joy played in his green eyes.
Fawn nodded slowly.
Rabbit leaned forward and laid his head on Fawn's chest. He sighed.
"I love you too,Fawn. More than anyone. Ever." he finally replied.
Fawn moaned in relief and brought up his arms to wrap around his brother. They stayed in each other's arms for quite a while. Neither paying any attention to what was happening around them. Finally, when they began to stir again, they disengaged their bodies from one another. Rabbit stood and lightly brushed himself off.
"You want anything to eat?" he asked with a smile.
Fawn laughed nervously as his stomach rumbled.
"Sure." he replied.
Rabbit giggled and walked out of the room.
---
A knock at the door signaled they were no longer alone. They couldn't discuss what they were going to do next in terms of the next hit. Rabbit opened the door to his hideout and grinned even before he uttered the word 'hello'. Fawn was confused until he saw who it was.
"Theo? Is that you?" he asked, trying to sit up properly.
The silver eyed ex-priest bowed his head in respect.
"Fawnie." he replied with a sneer, his deeper baritone shook the twins to their marrow whenever he spoke.
Fawn glared at the brown haired twenty eight year old.
"Ha.Ha. Ha. Cut the crap, what are you doing here?"
Rabbit looked at his brother guiltily as he changed positions from his Mentor's side to his twin's.
"Sorry. I invited Master to come over. He promised to help you with your shielding technique." he confessed.
Theodore smiled and nodded. Fawn was surprised. Theo normally didn't smile for anyone. A momentary flash of protectiveness shot through him until he noted that Theo was smiling at Rabbit as if he were older brother to them. Fawn sighed in relief and relaxed a bit.
"So when can the lazy bum get out of bed?"
Lazy?!
Fawn gritted his teeth and retrained himself from coming back with a scathing retort. Rabbit found it funny and giggled.
"In a few days unfortunately. Would you like to stay until then?" the green eyed thief asked, straightening the covers that still hid Fawn's body from sight.
Theo nodded. He was more than happy to do that. Of course he was also very hungry. Rabbit snickered and bounded off to make something for his Mentor. When he was gone, Theodore turned to look Fawn over.
"Now. I see he's happier than normal. Is he ok?"
Fawn blushed and looked away.
"He's fine."
Theo grinned.
"You told him didn't you?"
A nod.
"He accepted?"
The blush that fanned across Fawn's nose darkened and he nodded again.
Theo smiled, happy-if not a little jealous- for the twins.
--that's it--
Yup that's all I had! See what I mean? My brain just went poof and died. Ok some explanations. Fawn and Rabbit share powers over elements. But Fawn's powers are mostly defensive (although they are very aggressive) while Rabbits are offensive. Theodore's power is over the music element and he has both the offensive and defensive abilities. He found the twins after they had run off from their father. He's beenteaching them for about two years by the time this story starts up. Jerry is their contact. He tells them of different places they can hit, to steal a magical object that would otherwise be used as a weapon against other elementals likethemselves. They basically are like Robin Hood I suppose lol!
Theo kinda has a crush on Rabbit, but Rabbit and Fawn only have eyes for each other. I never came up with actual names for them soooo suggestions would be nice too lol! That is if this story grabbed at you. I'd have to re-write it and all that but..I don't mind as it's only three pages in anyways. Let me know what you think!
-the Silent Observer-
Sunday, July 24, 2011
2+2=5...wait...what?
Ok so I'm thinking I kiiiind of did good today.
I ate a half of a half turkey sub...a spoonful of pasta with alot of hotsauce...
Then later I had cucumbers and tomatoes in redwine vinaigrette with alot of Tabasco...along with some PB crackers (for those last two it came to roughly 260 cals...and since I didn't go hotshot on the turkey or pasta...I'm guessing that was maybe another 100 at most?
I'm surprised some of you want to read my work...I hope you guys aren't disappointed!
I'll post it tomorrow for sure! Erm. After I find it lol! (It's in a box under the bed lol!)
I hope I've lost weight by tomorrow...
Speaking of...I was told I was too skinny again. Someone said I needed to stop counting calories because I was too thin already. They said I wouldn't look good thinner. I can't see this thin-ness they see x_X
Can someone point it out to me?
I'd like to see it. You know? I mean I love the kid (he is the only person besides my husband who said he liked how hard I hugged...)...and I love that he speaks his mind. But I don't see it. I really don't. Ah well.
I hope everyone's days/nights have gone (or will go) well! Be safe!
Love you all!
- the Silent Observer-
I ate a half of a half turkey sub...a spoonful of pasta with alot of hotsauce...
Then later I had cucumbers and tomatoes in redwine vinaigrette with alot of Tabasco...along with some PB crackers (for those last two it came to roughly 260 cals...and since I didn't go hotshot on the turkey or pasta...I'm guessing that was maybe another 100 at most?
I'm surprised some of you want to read my work...I hope you guys aren't disappointed!
I'll post it tomorrow for sure! Erm. After I find it lol! (It's in a box under the bed lol!)
I hope I've lost weight by tomorrow...
Speaking of...I was told I was too skinny again. Someone said I needed to stop counting calories because I was too thin already. They said I wouldn't look good thinner. I can't see this thin-ness they see x_X
Can someone point it out to me?
I'd like to see it. You know? I mean I love the kid (he is the only person besides my husband who said he liked how hard I hugged...)...and I love that he speaks his mind. But I don't see it. I really don't. Ah well.
I hope everyone's days/nights have gone (or will go) well! Be safe!
Love you all!
- the Silent Observer-
Sorry...
Sorry about yesterday guys. Sometimes depression just kicks me in the butt. I've never been diagnosed but I know it runs pretty heavy in both sides of my family...so chances are I have it lol!
Anywho. I'm still 115! I was really surprised because I kind of cheated yesterday and had a mini snack =_=...so I reeeaaaaalllly thought I was going to gain. But I didn't! Win!
On a side note...I was looking through my old stories...and I found my OCs. They are twins whose names are Fawn and Rabbit. They are thieves but...erm good guys? Lol! They are taken in by Theodore, a priest of sorts, after they run away from home (Rabbit was being beaten and about to be raped by their father.)
Fawn, the really protective and older twin, falls in love with Rabbit...they become a couple...bad stuff happens to Rabbit...blah blah blah...sad thing is I never ended up continuing the story even though Rabbit and Fawn are my favorite OCs.
Soooo I'm wondering if you guys wouldn't mind me posting the first few pages of what I have...and maybe you could help me with plot? Lol!
On to something new...I've decided to try being more...open about who I like and don't like. I'll be civil but I'm tired of having to wear my Slytherian mask everytime I go out around these people. And if I want to go out when my hubby does I need to be civil. (Before I'd laugh and let them talk about shite I don't even care about...now I can give them a blank look and make them leave...or bring my artbook/notebook along lol!)
Anyways...wish me luck guys! No food so far! Win!
-the Silent Observer-
Anywho. I'm still 115! I was really surprised because I kind of cheated yesterday and had a mini snack =_=...so I reeeaaaaalllly thought I was going to gain. But I didn't! Win!
On a side note...I was looking through my old stories...and I found my OCs. They are twins whose names are Fawn and Rabbit. They are thieves but...erm good guys? Lol! They are taken in by Theodore, a priest of sorts, after they run away from home (Rabbit was being beaten and about to be raped by their father.)
Fawn, the really protective and older twin, falls in love with Rabbit...they become a couple...bad stuff happens to Rabbit...blah blah blah...sad thing is I never ended up continuing the story even though Rabbit and Fawn are my favorite OCs.
Soooo I'm wondering if you guys wouldn't mind me posting the first few pages of what I have...and maybe you could help me with plot? Lol!
On to something new...I've decided to try being more...open about who I like and don't like. I'll be civil but I'm tired of having to wear my Slytherian mask everytime I go out around these people. And if I want to go out when my hubby does I need to be civil. (Before I'd laugh and let them talk about shite I don't even care about...now I can give them a blank look and make them leave...or bring my artbook/notebook along lol!)
Anyways...wish me luck guys! No food so far! Win!
-the Silent Observer-
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Depressed
I'm rather depressed right now. It kinda started when hubby said I was too thin. He said 'You don't even eat much when we go out anymore'
I said it was because I felt fat. He told me I wasn't. But now I feel really guilty. I'm hurting him...all because of my inability to NOT see the fat that is all over my body. It's just not enough yet. I'm not thin enough yet. Just a bit longer. Once I reach my GW I'll be happywill I?. I hope that Hubby will stay wih me through all of this...even if he doesn't know all of what's going on.
Because of this though...I'm feeling a major binge coming on. And I'm trying to avoid it at all costs. Even CM is getting concerned because she says I'm exercising more than I'm eating.
I just. Can't bare to eat more than a little.
Why can't I just be accepted? Why isn't this enough?
Why don't they see this? Do they not care?
-the Silent Observer-
I said it was because I felt fat. He told me I wasn't. But now I feel really guilty. I'm hurting him...all because of my inability to NOT see the fat that is all over my body. It's just not enough yet. I'm not thin enough yet. Just a bit longer. Once I reach my GW I'll be happy
Because of this though...I'm feeling a major binge coming on. And I'm trying to avoid it at all costs. Even CM is getting concerned because she says I'm exercising more than I'm eating.
I just. Can't bare to eat more than a little.
Why can't I just be accepted? Why isn't this enough?
Why don't they see this? Do they not care?
-the Silent Observer-
Friday, July 22, 2011
Sour Patch Kids
Have you ever felt like you were being stared down by candy? Like it's just glareing at you, angry that you haven't delved your greedy fat fingers into the depths of it's bag/wrapper to stuff your face?
Well the Sour Patch Kids are doing that to me right now lol!
I'm ignoring it as I have been more focused on my story...but yeah...I can still feel their evil little eyes giving me the angry 'Eat Me!' stare.
Nooooo!
Lol!
Really guys I'm just so happy! I have dropped to 115 today and I'm just...so thrilled at the drop. Hopefully I'll be able to keep it off!
I hope you guys have a brilliant day! Be safe and I love you!
-the Silent Observer-
Well the Sour Patch Kids are doing that to me right now lol!
I'm ignoring it as I have been more focused on my story...but yeah...I can still feel their evil little eyes giving me the angry 'Eat Me!' stare.
Nooooo!
Lol!
Really guys I'm just so happy! I have dropped to 115 today and I'm just...so thrilled at the drop. Hopefully I'll be able to keep it off!
I hope you guys have a brilliant day! Be safe and I love you!
-the Silent Observer-
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
I bought them...
So this girl I dislike alot came over to see us. And her first words were 'Ann when did you get boobs?"
The hell?
They've been the same size for years where the heck have you been. CM told me to tell her I bought them at the store. I told her I said 'As far as I know I've always had them' then I poked them and said 'They feel real'
Really though...how is it any of their business?!
Anyways. I just wanted to share. Maybe make some of you laugh!
-the Silent Observer-
The hell?
They've been the same size for years where the heck have you been. CM told me to tell her I bought them at the store. I told her I said 'As far as I know I've always had them' then I poked them and said 'They feel real'
Really though...how is it any of their business?!
Anyways. I just wanted to share. Maybe make some of you laugh!
-the Silent Observer-
Thursday, July 14, 2011
That's not supposed to happen...
So I weigh 116. I went a whole day withot calorie counting buyout I still kept them low so I guess I cheated (I kept to things I know were really low and ate a small amount. See? Cheating lol!)
So I went looking for some nice Yaoi pics annnd came up with a Koala in one of the picutres given. Say what? How is a Koala in any way related to Yaoi?
Oh and the immature person is talking to my husband more than I. Like he doesn't talk to me about what they say. Like we don't know we are being used when they open their mouths and ask something of us. We aren't dumb.
Soooo I realized I really hate people who pose. They say pretty words to you and then you think they understand and then you turn and you suddenly have a knife in your back. I really hate the ones who think an ED is just something that is fixed by 'You need to eat more!' or 'Quit counting calories and focus more on eating' or my favorite 'Just stop!'
You pricks! If I could quit don't you think I bloody well would have?!
Then you have the ones who fake having ED because it's the social norm or because they want attention. I loathe those too. Those people think it's fun! I'm bloody well not laughing! It isn't funny to me!
I'm suffering every day with this constant gnawing, itching, burning obsession to check my cals...to work out harder damnit because I'm not fucking skinny enough! Fat! I see fat all over me! So piss off you sods!
This isn't something that is so easily cured.
Anyways. Anyone have their thoughts on the matter? Let those idiots know that it isn't fun and games for us?
-the Silent Observer-
Ps: Thank you Katy for your continued support! Good luck! And thank you CM for helping me as well. I love you both!
So I went looking for some nice Yaoi pics annnd came up with a Koala in one of the picutres given. Say what? How is a Koala in any way related to Yaoi?
Oh and the immature person is talking to my husband more than I. Like he doesn't talk to me about what they say. Like we don't know we are being used when they open their mouths and ask something of us. We aren't dumb.
Soooo I realized I really hate people who pose. They say pretty words to you and then you think they understand and then you turn and you suddenly have a knife in your back. I really hate the ones who think an ED is just something that is fixed by 'You need to eat more!' or 'Quit counting calories and focus more on eating' or my favorite 'Just stop!'
You pricks! If I could quit don't you think I bloody well would have?!
Then you have the ones who fake having ED because it's the social norm or because they want attention. I loathe those too. Those people think it's fun! I'm bloody well not laughing! It isn't funny to me!
I'm suffering every day with this constant gnawing, itching, burning obsession to check my cals...to work out harder damnit because I'm not fucking skinny enough! Fat! I see fat all over me! So piss off you sods!
This isn't something that is so easily cured.
Anyways. Anyone have their thoughts on the matter? Let those idiots know that it isn't fun and games for us?
-the Silent Observer-
Ps: Thank you Katy for your continued support! Good luck! And thank you CM for helping me as well. I love you both!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Childish.
Don't you really dislike those people who just won't grow the bloody hell up?
Yeah me too.
So anyways. I really can't go into detail guys as it's really just a minor annoyance. I just wish some people would act their age instead of their shoe-size.
In other news...I finished writing my newest oneshot out for CM. It was my EDNOS!Harry/Fenrir. I wrote it the other day when hubby's 'Dursley'-like family came over and stuffed their faces with all those calories. I was so angry but after I wrote it I felt better! ;3
Anyways...she loved it.
She said the one I did of TB!Harry should be made into a chapter fic or something lol! I really don't think it's that good. But...
I really feel like a pig today =_=
And it's all my stupid blood sugars fault.
But my dinner was relatively small. Still. I didn't wan to eat lunch. I'm trying to avoid breakfast and lunch.
Watch me gain from this x_X
I think I'm going to bed now.
- the Silent Observer-
Ps. @tobf- I hope you figure out what you want to do soon love! Good luck! Love you and Be safe!
Yeah me too.
So anyways. I really can't go into detail guys as it's really just a minor annoyance. I just wish some people would act their age instead of their shoe-size.
In other news...I finished writing my newest oneshot out for CM. It was my EDNOS!Harry/Fenrir. I wrote it the other day when hubby's 'Dursley'-like family came over and stuffed their faces with all those calories. I was so angry but after I wrote it I felt better! ;3
Anyways...she loved it.
She said the one I did of TB!Harry should be made into a chapter fic or something lol! I really don't think it's that good. But...
I really feel like a pig today =_=
And it's all my stupid blood sugars fault.
But my dinner was relatively small. Still. I didn't wan to eat lunch. I'm trying to avoid breakfast and lunch.
Watch me gain from this x_X
I think I'm going to bed now.
- the Silent Observer-
Ps. @tobf- I hope you figure out what you want to do soon love! Good luck! Love you and Be safe!
Homework
I have homework today. Omee Jeez.
I only have three sentences to do but I know that I need to do them or else CM and I can't move on. And I really do want to learn more.
I am now 115.5. I think. After I stepped off of the scale to make sure it was calibrated right Hubby's youngest niece took the scale.
Soooo I'm not sure how accurate it is.
I don't plan on eating anything until dinner again....but I haven't had my coffee yet either.
Yeaaaah I'm gonna go now.
-the Silent Observer-
I only have three sentences to do but I know that I need to do them or else CM and I can't move on. And I really do want to learn more.
I am now 115.5. I think. After I stepped off of the scale to make sure it was calibrated right Hubby's youngest niece took the scale.
Soooo I'm not sure how accurate it is.
I don't plan on eating anything until dinner again....but I haven't had my coffee yet either.
Yeaaaah I'm gonna go now.
-the Silent Observer-
Monday, July 11, 2011
I, like God, do not play with dice and do not believe in coincidence...
Soooo this first part of my day went wonderfully. Then when hubby's older brothers came over to swim in our pool (one family unit is like the Dursley's. I kid you not.)and then started stuffing their faces like pigs with copious amounts of food and it all went down hill from there.
Hubby and I even ended up having a stupid argument. Not about his family members I assure you.
I barely ate today. I think I barely went over cal limit if at all. And even though I'm hungry I'm too depressed to even want to eat. And then I keep remembering hubby's brother stuffing his fat ugly face ( this man asked if anybody else felt an earthquake while I was walking through the room when I'm the only friggin one in the house who walks lightly. I felt so fat and disgusting that I don't think I ate that day. Plus everytime he sees me he stares like he's going to eat me. Or worse. And he insults me withthe same bull every single time -"Hey what's that thing hanging out of your nose?" Um a nose-ring dumbarse. =/)
Anyways. I ended up writing a fanfiction where Harry is waiting for Fenrir to come and kill his fat piggy family. And the Werewolf does. And I felt marginally better.
I'm supposed to still be thrilled! I lost weight! But instead I'm reminded of all the shite I still haven't accomplished. And I'm faced with thee reality of my failure. I hope hubby doesn't stay mad much longer. I was in the right. For once. :/ Still doesn't make me feel better about it though.
-the Silent Observer-
Hubby and I even ended up having a stupid argument. Not about his family members I assure you.
I barely ate today. I think I barely went over cal limit if at all. And even though I'm hungry I'm too depressed to even want to eat. And then I keep remembering hubby's brother stuffing his fat ugly face ( this man asked if anybody else felt an earthquake while I was walking through the room when I'm the only friggin one in the house who walks lightly. I felt so fat and disgusting that I don't think I ate that day. Plus everytime he sees me he stares like he's going to eat me. Or worse. And he insults me withthe same bull every single time -"Hey what's that thing hanging out of your nose?" Um a nose-ring dumbarse. =/)
Anyways. I ended up writing a fanfiction where Harry is waiting for Fenrir to come and kill his fat piggy family. And the Werewolf does. And I felt marginally better.
I'm supposed to still be thrilled! I lost weight! But instead I'm reminded of all the shite I still haven't accomplished. And I'm faced with thee reality of my failure. I hope hubby doesn't stay mad much longer. I was in the right. For once. :/ Still doesn't make me feel better about it though.
-the Silent Observer-
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