Ups and downs

I have made friends with this awesome person. They really don't even realize how much they have come to mean to me over the past few days. ThEy are so sweet and kind. And I really don't feel like I deserve them.

On the downside they live on the other side of the US..and not next door where they need to be living (cough)
I still love them though :)

I hope to be putting up a KakaNaru today but I make no promises.
I love you all! Be safe!

-the Silent Observer-

Ne ne

Well...updates are in order I think. I am currently 117 pounds guys! Hopefully I can keep gaining! Bloody heck it's ridiculous how long this is taking. I will hopefully be 120 by the end of next month.

So other than that stress..I've been alright. Some things are going on that may or may not be a new turning point for me...I have until Christmas to make my decision. Or rather...they do.

I hope everyone is alright...and I will be putting up a KakaNaru story soon xD

I love you all! Be safe!

- the Silent Observer-

Battle

Hello all! Ok. So I relapsed slightly, but I'm pretty much back on track! I am once more back at 116 so...progress? Lol! I know it's a day late and all but I have the story for you! It's a a thank you of sorts...for all of you have been encouraging me to get better...and when I do slip up, not to give up! Thank you all so much!

It's a PWP story. Pretty much nothing but smut. That's how much I love you guys! Lol! It's Bleach...Kenpachi/Ichigo....and is set when Kenpachi saved Ichigo from Nnoitra's sexy butt xD

Enjoy!

Battle- Kenpachi/Ichigo-warnings- smut. Slash. Being turned on by blood...you know...the usual weird shite from me...

He kicked me, claiming he didn't want me in the way. Bastard. When I got my hands on him...
I guess I should be happy...
He saved me after all. You'll never hear me tell him thank you. So I was forced to watch as Kenpachi fought my previous opponent, Nnoitra's.
As I watched the battle, I was only slightly worried. I knew the Eleventh Division's Captian could handle himself...but he is my lover...so...

"K-Kenpachi," I whispered, cursing the fact that I couldn't fight too
I watched him swing his sword. Nnoitra's parried and thief fight continued. Wow. Kenpachi looked so hot when he fought. Was I turned on by the blood that was spilt? Oh yes. Yes I was.

"Kenpachi, get over here and fuck me. Jackarse." I muttered.

Dude I swear he has super human hearing abilities cause he froze and in an instant he was at my side, leering at me.

"You sure you aren't too weak to handle me, Strawberry?"

I scowled and attempted to sit up.

"Fuck you, Kenpachi. I can handle anything you throw at me."

Kenpachi's grin grew impossibly larger and I felt myself grow harder at it's sight.

"Oi! I'm over here! Ya shouldn't take your eyes offa your opponent!" came Nnoitra's voice as he launched an attack at Kenpachi.

Frowning in irritation, my lover turned and cut him down, blood splashing all over him. I shivered and moaned.

"Kenpachi. Now."

Kenpachi flinched and when he turned I knew I was in for an explosively intense sexual experience. He knelt over my prone body and licked my blood off of my cheek.

"Woman. Unless you wish to watch, being here isnt in your best interest. You will die. Yachiru! Take this woman and the green haired kid and hide, your mommy and I have to talk." Kenpachi growled as he ground down his hips against mine.

Orihime gasped. I moaned loudly, not caring if anyone heard me. I knew when they were gone though, because he began to undress me and he made sure to never do stuff like that in front of Yachiru.

I arched into his touch. Wanting it. Needing it.

"Not that I'm complaining, but what brought this on?" he inquired, nibbling on my neck.

I fisted his hair and arched my back again.
"Watching you fight...getting covered in blood...major turn on...Now shut the fuck up and fuck me you bastard!"

I watched with satisfaction as his pupils dilated and his grin was back in force. My clothes(what was left anyways) were ripped from me and his were hastily done away with.
He rubbed his cock against mine as he rocked his hips down. The sands of Hueco Mundo bit at my skin.

"Sure you are up to this, strawberry?" he bit my throat, eliciting a moan out of me. He drew blood. I could smell it.

"Kenpachi, damn it! SHUT UP and FUCK ME!" I yelled and lifted my legs to wrap around his hips, causing the tip of his cock to press against my entrance.

He pulled off his eye patch and as his reitsu erupted around us, he plowed in without preparing me. The pain mixed with the pleasure, was almost too much...almost.
He began thrusting in and out of me roughly, nailing my prostate every time, as our reitsu commingled and became one.

"Oh gawd! Harder 'Pachi!" I screamed and he growled possessively as he obliged.

I gripped onto him with all of my strength, scratching at him, biting him. We kissed hard and passionate enough to draw blood, which caused us both to moan in ecstasy.
I came violently when he leaned close to my ear and muttered that he loved me. It meant more when he said it. So many things underlied his words. When he told me he loved me it meant: I love you.
I want you.
You are MINE!

As I clenched around him, he cursed and spilled his seed in me, marking me as his. Breathing heavily, he lay on me for a second as he pulled out of me.

"I love you, Kenpachi." I whispered and felt warm for the briefest of moments when he gave me a tender smile, showing me just how much he cared.

He kissed me softly on the lips before pulling away and getting dressed once more.

"I'll not dress you so better do it yourself. Otherwise I'll cut the woman's eyes out."

I knew he meant when he brought Orihime back to heal me. I grinned and reached out for my Shinigami pants at least. They were the least destroyed article of clothing. I slipped them on, wincing a bit, and then looked over his fully clothed form.

"I'm done. What do we do now?"

Kenpachi cast me a concerned glance before grinning.

"I will be fucking you so hard when this is over, berry."

I rolled my eyes,ignoring the nickname.
"That wasn't my question."

Kenpachi shrugged.
"She needs to heal you first. Then we'll decide what to do."

I rolled my eyes again.
"Yes, Master." I stated sarcastically, gasping when Kenpachi pinned me once more.

"Careful, Ichigo." he growled. I could tell he was ready to go again.

I, however, wasn't.

I gulped but nodded and he stood, then whistled.
Yachiru appeared with Orihime and Nel in tow. Kenpachi picked Orihime up and dropped her beside me.

"Heal him."

She did as she was told. I gazed at him lovingly as he allowed Yachiru to hang off of his shoulders. Yes. I loved this man. No matter what.

- end-

There it is! It's really old so I apologize for it's lame wording and such.
But I hope you love it! I love you all! Be safe! Read and review? Wait...what? Lol!

-the Silent Observer-

Hey guys

So I haven't posted in a while. I was supposed to write a story but I keep getting distracted by things I need to do. That and my husbands 'You can beat this on your own without a support group. It's all in your head and you're strong enough to beat this' comment just kind of makes me want to forget all of this just to show him how hurtful his comment was. I made it to 114 guys. I literally slipped and for two days I ate only one meal a day. I ate more yesterday, and will today too o-O...this morning I was 116 so I guess I'm back to normal. Whatever the bloody hell that means.

I hope all of you are doing well! I plan on writing a story for you on Sunday. Fingers crossed? Be safe everyone! I'm sorry I haven't written any comments on you guys blogs. I love you all!

-the Silent Observer-

Irene

What a joke hurricane! Lol! Sorry I've seen worse. We were right on the oceanfront and still it was only mildly high winds (I've been in winds that nearly blew me away when I was 130...and I'm 116 right now...it didn't even move me a little...faaail!)

In other news...I am constantly shifting between 115 and 116. I want to be at least 118 so that I can exercise again. I feel so flabby! (sobs)

I'll be able to write a new story on Monday guys xD
I hope all of you are doing alright! I love you all! Be safe!

And anyone who was hurt by Irene I'm sorry and hope everything works out for you! I was just saying that by the time it reached us..it was pathetic...I think the weather people love to embellish on how bad storms are sometimes.

-the Silent Observer-

Update!

Ok sooo I'm 116 again (still...whatever...lol!) and it's partially because I back-slid a bit. But I'm getting back on track I promise! I have been eating...alot more than when I restricted even...but not as much as I probably should. I am hungry now though and about to go eat lol!

Hubby and I might be getting Sugar Gliders soon! I can't wait! They are so adorable!

I will try writing a new story up for you guys soon...as soon as I decide what I want to put lol!
Be safe everyone! I love you! Be safe!

-the Silent Observer-

The past...

So...I've been thinking. Alot. About many points in my life I rather detest. Like my father who bans me from my family (and vise versa) because I decided to NOT join the military and instead, follow my heart to be with the wonderful man I'm married to today. I'm ridiculed for my choices to the point that my father taints my sisters thoughts of me and states 'Shes just a crack whore! Her husband is satanic and selling her body for drugs'
My mother says 'Your sister looks better in that hat than you do!' or 'Your sister could be a model' or 'Her grades are so nice since she went to college! I wish you had gone!'

My mother always put the drawings I made her in the cupboard. Guess where sister's made it? The fridge for all to see. I confronted mom about that once. She said 'Do you really want your artwork ruined?'
I wouldn't care really if it meant you acknowledged you had another daughter! Bloody he'll and I'm the OLDESt! Shouldn't this be the other way around? Not that I really want Sis to go through this...dismissal. I gave up trying a while ago. When my mother and sister called my husband a moron just because he didn't agree with their choice in guns. I cried so hard. Why cant they see me? What did I do that was so wrong? Why am I being punished for something that wasn't my fault?! It was his damnit! It was his! He's the reason I'm so filthy! He's the reason I can't even look at a male without expecting a harsh blow or word...or an intimate touch I don't want! It's not my fault! Why does he always make it out like it's my fault?!

I feel like taking a knife and digging it all out! All that whatever that taints me and makes it so that I'm so unwanted. But I won't. I promised Hubby I wouldn't. And I keep my promises...

Today I kinda backtracked. I ate less than 500 I'm sure of it. And as guilty as I feel...I felt so good about not having to stuff my face with alot of food...still. Even Hubby kinda shook his head 'such a fuck up' and looked so sad that I had backtracked. Plus I weighed myself twice. What's wrong with me today? Why have I done so good then failed so miserably?

Sorry guys. Seems like everyone is kinda on the low today.
I just started thinking of this after talking to Diz, though. I want her to know that she's loved and wanted. That I know what she's feeling if only a bit. And while trying to reassure her...I remembered everything that I try toforget about my family. If you can even call them that anymore.

I love you all! Please be safe! Know that you are worth something...from one outcast to another...you are worth something to me!

-the Silent Observer-

Meh

Ah so today (my period started...4 days later than t was supposed to) I had a minor...set back. I didn't want to eat. I lost weight (even with all I've been eating and NO exercising!) and now I'm back to 116 or 117. I was 118. I just want to give up! I don't wan to eat all of this food every meal. It's so exhausting! I know I've come so far...I really have and I'm proud of it. I mean look at me! I'm depressed because I've LOST! But still...I almost want to say 'why bother?' if losing is all I can do...and I don't want to eat. I would rather drink.

Anyways. Don't worry guys. I'm still eating. I don't want to but I'm trying to keep with this.
I feel like getting sick though...with all the food I'd been eating o_O

Be safe everyone! I might write up a story for you guys soon! I love you all!

-the Silent Observer-

Third day

It's my third day of feeling normal. I'm 116 again...I hope this lasts a long time. Hubby gave me this big smile when I told him that I felt calm and normal for the third day in a row. Also I haven't counted calories in almost a week. I feel accomplished there too.
Have to go. Love you guys! Be safe!

-the Silent Observer-

Afterlife Tourniquet

Alright guys! It's time for another story! First I'll update. I am 116.5 this morning and I'm actually ok with it. I'm sure I'll spazz tomorrow but for right now I'm ok with it. I've been eating all of my meals without fail...and I'm really happy about it. Although I really don't like having so much food on my plate lol. I think some of my weight is water weight (period is supposed to start in a few days) but I'm hoping that's not the case (which is odd)

Anyways...onward!

Afterlife Tourniquet- past Drarry/Pre-Fen/Harry- Warning: mentions of infidelity, character death...reincarnation...slash...

AT-

The blood was bubbling in my throat. I could feel it. All my body longed to do was cough it out. But I refused. I was in charge of this disease. Not the other way around. I winced though. It hurt alot. This itching clawing need to cough out the clotted blood in my lungs. It's festering and putrifying evil, sneaking it's way through my veins so that I suffocated in my own bodily fluids. I was dying. I didn't care one bit. After all, what did I have to live for? A husband who was currently cheating on me with a healthy woman of all things? Friends who left you because of who you married? Children who died as miscarriages because of a disease I had no clue of until recently?
No. I had no one.
Which was fine, I supposed. Finally I could rest and join my babies who I never was able to hold. To love.

The niggling in the back of my throat became too much and I finally gave way to the coughing fit my body so desperately wanted. It wasn't always like this you know. Draco and I had a beautiful marriage. Hardly ever had fights. The sex was great too. But then came the failed pregnancies, and menthe news of my illness. Draco became distant. Off. Then suddenly, recently, he'd become happy again. I knew it wasn't because of me. I looked into it and found out why. He'd been cheating on me with Pansey Parkinson.
In fact that's where he was now. Out with the tramp. I was waiting for them to get here, although they didn't know it. I was serving Draco the papers for divorce today. I'd already signed them. Once everything was settled I would Apparate to my little cabin and die peacefully. Even though, in all technicality, I wasn't supposed to Apparate as it could make the coughing fits worse, but either way I was dying. Who cared. Although I guess I would miss a few people. Severus and I had become friends. He and Lucius have been secretly married for years, did you know that? Yeah. It was a shock to me too. They were trying for some children now that the war was over. Then there was my friendship with Fenrir.
Yup the great and mighty leader of the British Coven of Werewolves.
He constantly called me cub or pup and as much as I loved it, I secretly winced as well. After all, both Remus and Sirius would call me that when they were alive. But I enjoyed his company. We would sit and talk for hours about his pack, which made me want to just flee with them. I refused to though. I didn't want to spread this to the pack. I guess I would be missed then. Wait until Lucius found out that his son was a cheating lying prick. I wonder what Luc's reaction would be? Or Sev's? Heck, I'll bet Fenrir will be hunting Draco for the rest of the blond's life. Not that I cared.
Not anymore.

The wards flared as Draco passed them and I flinched, brought out of my musings by the high pitched laugh of the hint formally known as Pansey. I ground my teeth in irritation. I always hated her voice. It was so annoying. So...girly. I shuddered and after a minor coughing fit, straightened out my robes, stood ramrod stiff, and moved my facial features into a cold mask of nonchalance. Like this didn't bother me. I was above it all. When they both walked intothe front parlor, kissing I might add, they both halted upon noticing me. Inwardly, I smirked as Draco's face paled, Pansey not far off from him. I felt like grinning one of Fenrir's grins. Oh victory was so sweet.

"H-Harry? I thought you weren't supposed to be home until later!" Draco stuttered, attempting to act like he wasn't just caught making out with the slag.

I sneered faintly instead of answering and simply held out the papers to him. He shockingly took them from me and I felt smug when his face crumpled in sorrow as he read it's contents. I glared at Pansey before turning, keeping myself poised and collected as I left out the way they came in. I wanted to cough so bad it was beginning to hurt but I staved it off until I made it to the apparition point, turned, and disapperated to my cabin.

I collapse to the forest floor, feeling free for the first time in ages. I began to laugh which caused my coughing to kick in. I couldn't stop this time. I inwardly rolled my eyes at my plight. Of course I would die after gaining my freedom. Why not. I was fate's boy toy anyways, yeah?
I curled on my side, eyes watering with the need to breathe, lips stained red as blood glob after glob flew out of my mouth. I was drowning. Alone. I stared at the grass as darkness began to fall in my wooded haven. I smirked even though my coughing had subsided to feeble gurgles. I couldn't really breathe around the oppressive weight of the blood. The smirk grew until my bloodstained teeth were visible. I heard a chuckle above me and turned my head slightly, grin still in place.

"F-Fen." I gasped out, futily attempting to reach out to him.

He knelt, concern flitting through his eyes even as his grin never left his face. Neither did mine for that matter. I felt relief really, that my friend would see me through to the end. Maybe in another life we'd be able to take our friendship further.

"Hello, pup. Ready for death?" he whispered, nuzzling the side of my face with his own.

I finally was able to grasp his toes through the dirt and grass surrounding me and I gave him a quick squeeze.
"I'll make it quick."

I coughed a bit, then reached in my pocket for the letters I had written toggles who would miss me. I'd nearly forgotten them in my confrontation with Draco.

"L-look out for me." I whispered. I would be back. This time it would be different.

He gave me a firm nod, took the letters, placed them on the dirt, then transformed into his wolf form. I grinned when his maw closed around my throat, adding pressure.

"Love you." I croaked and knew no more.

----

Fenrir followed his nose to the home of Severus Snape and Lucius. He'd been waiting for this scent for years. Fifteen to be exact. It had been that long since his dearest friend had died.
So many things had changed since then. Draco and Pansey had been married, divorced and misereable. Draco had been disinheriated when Lucius found out just what had happened to Harry. Severus refused to speak to either of his former Slytherians. Shortly thereafter, Draco sequestered himself away and wasn't seen by anyone anymore. Pansey lost face with most of her peers and she commited suicide. A month after Harry's death, Lucius announced that they were expecting a baby boy.
Fenrir smirked as he thought of all the mood swings poor Lucius had gone through. They had named their boy Harrison Lucius Prince, as Severus had reverted to his mother's maiden name, wishing to start over. Also they wanted to show their love of the boy who had been a good friend to them before the disease took him.
Fenrir had left before ever getting to see the child however, as his pack needed him. This scent had drawn him back though. And he followed it to the Prince's backyard. Fenrir felt his breath hitch as he saw the boy thatthe scent was coming from. The teen was tall, although still shorter than himself. His hair was dark black, but braided back to his shoulders. He was thin by not in a sickly way. More like a graceful dancer. He was a perfect melding of the Malfoy and Snape lines. This must be Harrison. His Harry had returned to him.
He felt like wagging his tail as his presence was acknowledged by the fourteen year old. Fenrir grinned wolfishly when smokey grey eyes met his, mischievousness in their depths.

"Hello, Fenrir. It took you long enough."

-end-

I was told I should make a prequel buuut I'm unsure if I could. Anyways I hope you guys like it xD

-the Silent Observer-

Yosh!

Ok so I feel better tonight. I keep fluxing between 116 and 115. So I'm happy forthe moment. I think I need to allow myself to be ok with this weight before I move on.
I will definitely be putting up a story tomorrow. Probably my TB!Harry/Fenrir xD

Love you guys! Thanks for everything!

-the Silent Observer-

Enter sarcastic remark here...

So I'm 116 today. Hubby wants me to wait one more bloody day before I begin exercising. I'm less than thrilled. I was ready to exercise yesterday. CM wanted me to wait one day...and now hubby wants me to wait one more. Because I wanted fries today I have to add that to my already heavy load of foods. I hate this. I hate gaining this weight and eating all this food. I don't want to do it anymore. I will though. I have to. I want a child. And that trumps whatever I want in the ED department. But I can see the fat rolls. I can see my stomach expanding. And all I want to do is either exercise like all get out or find some other way to get rid of it.

I'm yet again not in the mood to put out a story. And I'm unsure if anyone really likes my stories anymore after the incest debacle. I might make a link on my fanfic to this site. I'm unsure about it all anymore. I feel so lost. I hate feeling full. I don't like this.
I was ok with being 115. I hate being 116.

-the Silent Observer-

115....finally

Ok guys! I'm at the halfway mark. I'm still bothered by putting on this weight. Especially since t means going from 600 intake to 800. Yeah I'm not thrilled. So I know I said I would type up a story today but I just don't feel like it. So I will probably do it tomorrow. That is if anyone still wishes to read them. I have a feeling my Sev/Harry turned everyone away from me in the reading department. Kind of makes me sad.

But yeah. Today I finally made it to 115. I get to exercise. Woohoo!
Today I'm having Veggie Tequito, a hard boiled egg, ramen( dried...I want to eat them like chips...but I'm removing the msg laced packet and putting cajun seasoning instead lol!), fruit, cherry tomatoes (nom!), and either tea, water, or a root beer. I can't believe I'm stuffing my face with this much foooood. I feel so fat. Hubby got mad at me this mooring cause I looked at my belly and it's bigger (he doesn't see it but I definitely do =_=) and I said I felt fat. He's like 'You aren't fat! You piss me off when you say that'. I understand that I'm frustrating with this but I can't help what I see...or how I feel. I hope this goes away because I don't want to make him mad anymore.

Anyways. I've managed to stay away from the brownies...and any other milk induced products. I feel pretty good that I've been able to stay away from milk.
Also...I'm starting on my second chapter of my new Harry Potter story. I've decided there won't be any pairings...but I still haven't come up with a name lol!

I better go. I love you all! Be safe and know that I think of you!

-the Silent Observer-

I'm thinking...

I think I'll post my TB!Harry next. It's past Drarry and pre-Fen/Harry.

I really didn't feel like eating today. At all. Is it normal that I'm forcing myself to eat? The only joy I've been getting out of the food is when I eat my tomatoes or drink my Silk. I've been meaning to tell Hubby but I haven't. Annnd after two days of not counting...I broke down and counted. I went waaaay over my limit (which has grown thanks to my apparent loss). I don't know how to not flip out over this. I know I want to get better...but I really just don't want to eat. I am. Like a machine. There's just...blah there when there should be at least a little bit of joy.
Does anyone know what I'm trying to say?
If I've lost another pound by tomorrow...I'm demanding we get a new scale. There's no way (especially after all I've eaten today) that I've lost again. I will rejoice cry.

So CM and I were talking about making calorie free/negative calorie chips...it started with tomato chips and degraded to celery...do any of you have any ideas? Just for fun of course...cause the celery/tomato chip idea sounds delish!
I have a new story in the works! And as soon as the first chapter is written out I'll share it with you guys...I am unsure of the pairing but I think it will be Voldie/Harry...with Severitis tendencies lol!

Let me know guys...

-the Silent Observer-

@tobf- becareful sweetheart...if you think you should stop doing MC it's probably a good idea xD...love you!

Two steps back

I weighed myselfthis morning and I dropped a pound. I don't get it as I've been eating and not exercising. So I was kinda depressed because I thought Hubby would be disappointed. I told him about the loss and he asked of I was eating less each meal but I haven't been. In fact yesterday I added something to my plate because thought it would help.

I don't want to eat at all today either. I kinda felt like that yesterday too. I just feel like I'm mechanically eating. I find no joy in eating like I thought I would. What's wrong with me? Why'd I lose? My period is supposed to start next week. Shouldn't I be gaining?

I had my cereal and silk...and I'm going to make my Tequito and maybe a hard boiled egg or two. It depends on whether or not hubby is buying dinner or lunch...he hasn't told me lol!

@Dandelion - oh that's ok hon! Not everyone will like my work and that's fine xD
It's sad by I'll live...I have another EDNOS!Harry/Fenrir I can write...a Neville/Harry...and a few semi-Harem!Harry stories I could write lol! Let me know what you'd like to see xD
And thank you for the compliments...I have short hair now (hubby is making me grow it out to that length again though) and I no longer have glasses (I'm bliiindd!)...but thank you.

Be safe all of you! I love you all!

-the Silent Observer-

Ps. I feel so weird being sad about losing. I mean apart of me is happy...but part of me...the part that wants to get better...is bawling like a baby lol!

Father! Or F.U. Order!

http://m7.photobucket.com/albumview/albums/Malevolent_Rose630/People%20Pics/Mypics001.jpg.html?pbauth=1_uLEBonVPfaLdh1h3YMYz2S3RIcm3agwNjuxg96NRexQWM3VO7K3Jbk4FgUOU2zWZZdv4U1zmbPVhokqGHJuvHDvvRsYCGNDY12OPj42xwLvBzj2uNfTRJgerT%2BQj8J1Ur8lBUWXwk1U1vobTm3%2F1RzZtc8WX%2Fx7pk2zFEo%2FIPhNXnG5CSEnnWA%3D%3D

http://m7.photobucket.com/albumview/albums/Malevolent_Rose630/People%20Pics/stuffforstuff002.jpg.html?pbauth=1_uLEBonVPfaLdh1h3YMYz2S3RIcm3agwNjuxg96NRexQWM3VO7K3Jbk4FgUOU2zWZZdv4U1zmbPVhokqGHJuvHDvvRsYCGNDY12OPj42xwLvBzj2uNfTRJgerT%2BQj8J1Ur8lBUWXwk1U1vobTm3%2F1RzZtc8WX%2Fx7pk2zFEo%2FIPhNXnG5CSEnnWA%3D%3D

http://m7.photobucket.com/albumview/albums/Malevolent_Rose630/People%20Pics/blahness002.jpg.html?pbauth=1_uLEBonVPfaLdh1h3YMYz2S3RIcm3agwNjuxg96NRexQWM3VO7K3Jbk4FgUOU2zWZZdv4U1zmbPVhokqGHJuvHDvvRsYCGNDY12OPj42xwLvBzj2uNfTRJgerT%2BQj8J1Ur8lBUWXwk1U1vobTm3%2F1RzZtc8WX%2Fx7pk2zFEo%2FIPhNXnG5CSEnnWA%3D%3D

http://m7.photobucket.com/albumview/albums/Malevolent_Rose630/People%20Pics/100_0315.jpg.html?pbauth=1_uLEBonVPfaLdh1h3YMYz2S3RIcm3agwNjuxg96NRexQWM3VO7K3Jbk4FgUOU2zWZZdv4U1zmbPVhokqGHJuvHDvvRsYCGNDY12OPj42xwLvBzj2uNfTRJgerT%2BQj8J1Ur8lBUWXwk1U1vobTm3%2F1RzZtc8WX%2Fx7pk2zFEo%2FIPhNXnG5CSEnnWA%3D%3D

Alright I don't know if those will show up but that's me...old (2007 and some back as far as 2005 but I wanted you all to see my doggy xD)
Laugh ye peoples! Lauuuugh! Lol!

And now you guys want to read the Sev/Harry yus?
Here it goes!

Father! Or F.U. Order!- Sev/Harry- Warnings: incest...sorta...dark!Harry...erm I guess he's kinda crazy too lol! Order Bashing... And sex (snerk) enjoy!

FoFUO-

Severus entered through the door of Number Four Privet Drive with a grimace of distaste. His Lord and Dumbledore both required him to fetch the Potter brat. Of course both parties also know that Potter was actually a Snape, but at least Voldemort had appeared genuinely concerned. Which was mildly disconcerting to say the least.
It's not like he truly hated the boy though. If anything he was angry with himself. Because of his heavy inaction, his son had been mistreated all his life. And he had done nothing to help.
Sighing, Snape shook his head to clear it of sad thoughts and then stopped dead when he actually took a good look around him. Strewn across the floor were Harry's muggle relatives. Bound, gagged, bloodily, dead. Standing above them in a long flowing black fur robe, was the subject of his thoughts. Harry.

"I wondered when you'd show, father." Harry's voice traveled to him in a soft rasp as he shifted to face Severus, his robe falling around his shoulders slightly as he did so.

Showing off milky white shoulders riddled with angry red scars. Blood was splattered on his cheeks, but Severus could tell it wasn't his son's. Then what Harry said sunk in and he flinched.

"You know?"

Harry laughed, green eyes sparkling. Not quite sane.
"Of course I know. I overheard some Order members sneering about my worthlessness. I was only there as a weapon and to keep you from totally devoting yourself to the Dark."

The dour man flinched once more, then scowled.
"How do you know that I don't care? What if I'm Light?"

Here Harry laughed even harder and he inched his way closer to His father with lithe, nimble, and graceful steps. Once in front o his father, he pressed his shorter body, sensually against the taller form of Severus.
Severus shivered, finding it very hot all of a sudden.

"Oh father. You aren't anywhere close to being Light. If I wanted to, I could make you fuck me anytime I wanted and you wouldn't care if I was your son or not. Admit it." here, Harry leaned up and nibbled on the Potions Master's chin, causing the older wizard to shiver and draw in an unsteady breath," You'd love to fuck me on your desk. Pound me into the wall. Take me and make me scream your name."

Severus growled and gripped his son's arms, absently noting that his child had no clothes on underneath his fur robe. He looked into the mesmerizing green eyes of his child and groaned. Harry was right. He was Dark enough to find his own flesh and blood attractive. Enough to fuck him. To take him. And the look in his son's eyes, the look of lust and Darkness, had him wanting to make his son his in every intamite way.

"Why are your relatives dead?" he needed to change the subject. Otherwise...

Harry smirked in a perfect parody of the Dark Lord. Knowing.
"I killed them. My Uncle wanted to try a go with me. I had to refuse. You see...he just wasn't good enough for me."

Severus snorted, even as he felt rage and possessiveness creep through him.
"But I am?"

Harry snickered and leaned forward to lick across his father's neck.
"Yes. More than enough."

"I take it I'm not your first?"

Harry shook his head, a smirk still on his face. Snape felt irrevocably turned on by the look.

"No. The Twins were my first. It was hot too. Thy loved dominating me. I must say that I loved it too."

The older wizard groaned.
"Who else?"

"Our Lord. The Lestrange Brothers. Barty. Rosier. The Malfoy's wanted me, but I just couldn't. Draco's a nice friend and all but...no. Um. Greyback, and Blaise Zabini. That's it." he licked up his father's neck again and released a moan when Severus pulled him close.

"I was hoping I could convince you to fuck me when the Order appears to investigate why my wand shows signs of being used for death."

Severus blinked.
" That would blow my cover,"

Harry shrugged and ground his hips against his father's prominent erection.
"It would be a wonderful 'Fuck you!', from the both of us."

Severus couldn't help it. He threw his head back and laughed. Who knew his son was so devious. Finally, when he calmed down, he cast his son a very preditorial look and grinned ferally when his son moaned in response.

"Are you sure you want this, Harry? Even though I'm your father?"

Harry moaned again and nodded his head, grinding against Severus again.
"Please, daddy. I need you in me!"

Something in the Slytherian snapped and with a growl of pure arousal, picked up his young charge and in a few long strides had Harry pressed against the wall. He kissed Harry roughly, delighting in the little mewls of pleasure he was gifted with and moved to the floor.
Wasting no time, he pulled out his erection and moved the robes away from Harry's form, to trail his fingers along the younger wizard's opening.
He moaned at what he found.

"You prepared yourself?"

Harry gasped when Severus dipped in a finger.
"Yes, so you could take me as hard as you want."

Severus had to hold completely still so that he wouldn't loose himself in his hands.
"I'll make you scream my name. You'll never want someone else again."

Harry arched off he floor and screamed when Severus plunged inside him, after a mild lubrication charm.
"More Daddy!" Harry screamed again, causing his father to plow forward once more with fervor.

He ravished his son's lips, neck, chest. He gripped Harry's cock just as the Order popped into the room.
"Scream for me Harry. Tell them who you belong to." Severus hissed, feeling his son begin to clench around his member.

Harry nodded and Severus gathered as much power as he could around his cock and slammed in one last time.

"Oh daddy!" Harry screamed and arched off the floor again, clawing at his father's back as he came all over them both.

Severus groaned and shuddered while he came deep inside Harry. His son was so beautiful like this. He planned to take his son again soon.
He pulled out and covered his child with his fur robe after quick cleaning charms on their person. Then he put himself back into his pants and helped his son (and himself) to his feet. He placed a loving hand on his boy's cheek, and was surprised to see the love and devotion that shone there.

"You really love me don't you?" he whispered in awe. Mug like Harry, love was a foreign word to him forthe most part.

Harry's eyes softened, his smile mimicking his gaze. Finally he nodded.
"I have since I found out the truth."

"Severus?" came the Headmaster's voice, full of shock.

After all, the Order members knew that Severus was Harry's real father. It seemed they were surprised that Harry knew as well. Well that...and they'd just caught the father-son duo screwing like rabbits.

"Headmaster." Severus drawled, turning finally to face the Order. Well most of them. Hermione, Ron, Remus, and Albus.

Harry snickered at the mixed looks of disgust and horror on their faces.

"What are you doing? What happened to Harry's relatives?"

Harry laughed then and Severus gave him a fond yet exasperated look.
"I killed them of course. As for what he was doing...why Headmaster...isn't it obvious?" Harry asked coyly.

Severus snorted and rolled his eyes. He never realized before now how good his son was at acting. He supposed it ran in the family.

"How could you kill them? They always treated you so nice!" Hermione screeched in anger.

Harry's demeanor changed; suddenly he stiffened, a hard glint in his eyes.
Severus shivered. It was a look he recognized. One his Lord often wore.

"And how could you have sex with that greasy git?! It's disgusting! He's your father! You should feel ashamed!" yelled Ron angrily.

Severus scowled knowing what was coming next.

"Yes, Severus, my boy. This is your son. He's a murderer! Yet I find you having sex with him. I'm very disappointed with you." Albus stated sadly.

Harry smirked suddenly and he stood so he was in front of his father, then leaned back, his father's arms automatically pulling him flush with his body.

"Oh we knew we were related before we had sex. As for you, Mudblood...the whole Order knows my loving family actually hated my guts. Unless being beaten and starved is the new fashion for love." the younger wizard sneered and was somewhat surprised when his father tightened his hold.

"Never again. If I could bring them back I'd kill them again."

Harry smiled softly and turned in his father's embrace to plant soft, gentle kisses against Severus' lips in thanks.

"Harry! Your parents...they'd be so disappointed." Remus tried.

Harry sighed in irritation.
"Seriously, Lupin? Severus is my father. Lily was my mother. My father is happy with me. My mother would have been happy as long as I was. So kindly keep your trap shut traitor." the underlying threat had everyone, save Sev, shivering.

"I'm sorry, my boy, but I can't allow you to leave."

Severus rolled his eyes and pressed his wand tip to his mark, sending out a little known S.O.S. to his Lord and nearby Death Eaters.
Within moments, Voldemort, Bellatrix, and the Lestrange Brothers all appeared in the Dursley's living room.

"Tsk tsk, Harry. I thought they would have been dead by now." Voldemort drawled, placing a chaste kiss to his apprentice's cheek.

Harry gave him a cheeky grin, then stuck it his tongue.

"Put your tongue away or I'll find a better use for it." Severus and the Dark Lord commented in unison.

Harry's eyes fluttered and he moaned.
"Promise?"

Voldemort smirked and Severus snorted.

"Whore!" Ron screamed, wand pointed at his former friend.

Harry was oblivious, his mind too busy conjuring sexual positions with both his father and his Lord. However, the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters growled.

"That's rich coming from you, Weasel. Especially since you have been caught screwing multiple girls. Heard you even got one pregnant before she aborted it because you blackmailed her." drawled Severus. He felt Harry stiffen in his arms.

"And I'm the monster?" he murmured, but they all heard and Ron flinched.

Ron sniffed and looked around nervously even as he tried to remain aloof.
"It doesn't matter. At least I'm not a whore for the Dark."

Harry sighed and moved away from his father.
"I lost my virginity to your brothers, Weasel. You would have known that too if you had bothered to care about something other than your lack of fame and money."

Ron gaped.
"But they are together with each other!"

Harry's grin was shark-like as he nodded.
"Oh yes. They are. They were willing to teach me what love and a kind touch were supposed to be. Without them, I wouldn't be nearly as knowledgable about a real loving touch and a fake one. The Twins, the Dark Lord, even the Lestrange brothers have shown me more kindness then any of you have. Ever."

Sev sighed in graditude.

"Well what about your father? He's never shown you kindness!"

The dark haired man winced. They had him there.

Harry turned back to his father and trailed a hand down his cheek.
"Daddy showed me kindness by never lying to me. He's always told me truth. In his own way he showed me kindness, as you had already made him swear to keeping his distance from me."

Severus felt his eyes prickle at the note of forgiveness in his son's voice and inclined his head in thanks.

"So Harry-love, did you kill these filthy muggles off?" inquired Bella with an insane giggle.

Harry smirked.
"Of course Aunty Bella."

Rodolphus and Rabastan grinned.
"The curses we taught you?"

The younger wizard chuckled.
"Of course."

They whooped and turned to Bella, hands outstretched.
"Pay up, Bella."

Bella grumbled and handed over her purse full of galleons.
Severus scowled and Harry shook his head. Voldemort raised a brow at the still silent headmaster, who was obviously seething at his lost weapon.

"I believe it's time to go, pet." Tom drawled and Harry nodded.

"Yes. I need to change into something else. The fur is getting too hot."

With a nod of amusement they all popped away before he Order could even blink.
Harry inwardly laughed.
Life was good.

-end-

Man it kinda puttered out a the end...sorry about that! Lol!
I hope you like it!

-the Silent Observer-
Ps- just copy/paste the links I guess...I can't go back and erase them and I don't think they showed up...sorry guys!

I was...happy?

It's definitely a new feeling but this morning when I got on the scale it read 114. I was happy at the gain...but also disappointed that it wasn't 115! I kinda took a startled step back in my thoughts and went 'Wait...what?'
Shortly after that I got worries that hubby would be disappointed that I hadn't gained...but he was like 'I don't expect you to be 120 over night, kitty. I would love it if you were, but this takes time.'
Talk about my mouth joining the floorboards (or carpet in this case...erm...which reminds me...I need to vacuum lol!)

In other news: Hubby wants me to try 'us' working on fixing everything first. I told him I still need to go to a group. Because as much as he'd like to help...there are just something's that aren't going away and I have no clue how to make it stop. You can't just flip a switch and 'POOF!' I'm fixed. I mean it'd be great if it were that easy (could you imagine all the people who'd have easier lives if it were? Less deaths...less sadness...less pain)...but we all know it isn't so simple.
I have to wait anyways. This week was the first Open Meeting but Larry isn't able to take me. And his family would call me stupid if we asked them for help in getting me there. So I have to wait until the 25th before I can try again (you have to go to 4 consecutive OM before going to any of the Closed Meetings).

So I've decided to bore you all with an old pic of me...but only if you guys ask for it lol! It's like...2007 old or...maybe 8...I don't remember lol! And you guys get choice of another story (although I think I already picked one exclusively for Dandelion...because she loves Sev as much as I do! Lol!)...There's my Sev/Harry(incest)...my Siri/Harry/Regulus(incest) -Hey I was on a kick...and those stories wouldn't be written in any other way (I triiiied!)...or another Draco/Harry- though it's one of my old ones...all my Drarry's are old lol!

Let me know! I'm sure I'll be spazzing later...or not...but I know for lunch I'll either be having my Veggie Tequito (rice/jalapeños/tomatoes/onions/hotsauce/toasted tortilla shell) or maybe a PB/Jelly Sammich *snerk* with fruiiiiit and maybe a few baby carrots lol! I'm surprised I haven't spazzed yet...let's hope it lasts all day right?
To all who are on MC please continue to be safe and good luck!
To everyone else, be safe!
I love you all! Thank you for the encouragement to get better! It means alot!

-the Silent Observer-

Ps- Erm...thank Dandelion for the idea of putting a pic out there...you did kind of do it first lol! Still...I won't do it if no one really cares to see lol!

Flaying Me Alive

Alright. So I'm trying to convince hubby that it's a good idea for me to go to the local support group. Granted I'm still terrified...because me + people = a nervous Ann, but I'm willing to go if it will help me in the long run. Otherwise all Larry is doing is putting a band aid on an open wound. It's just not going to do me any good. I want to believe I could handle this alone but we all know that it's just not possible. Anyways. Today I weighed 114. One more pound and I can exercise again! I'm excited about it! I miss working out!
For those of you who are supporting me via online, thank you! I really don't know how I could do this without you guys encouraging/supporting me from the start. I just hope none of you get tired of me or leave me just because I'm trying to get better. Hey it's a very real paranoia for me. Continued luck for all of you who are still on MC! And luck for anyone who wishes to get better...and love for those who don't...I love you all! Please be safe!
So without further ado...the Voldie/Harry that was requested lol!

Flaying Me Alive- Voldemort/slave!Harry-Warnings: um this one is pretty bloody. Slightly insane Harry. Slash. Rape(sorta)...character death...and Vampirism. Master/Slave. Enjoy!

FMA-

I felt it as he tore into my flesh. Sinking his fangs into me as if he were starving. I knew he wasn't. He claimed he loved me. Would protect me. Would never be angry. Yet here he was. Tearing into me as if he hadn't eaten in ages. Punishing me no doubt for something I had done. Which, of course, brought me to my current thoughts. What had I done? Did I not do the dishes?
No.
No. I had. I wouldn't be so careless with my Master's food ware. Was it because I wasn't quite finished with the laundry?
No.
It was something he enjoyed watching me do.
Oh! I forgot to clean the dungeons. Maybe there was still time to do that tonight, to make up for my negligence. I really deserved it then. Yes I did. Every hit or bite he gave me I needed. I was bad. Bad. Bad. Bad boy. I couldn't do anything right. That's why I have my Master. He knows what I need. How I should act.

I was brought out of my musings when he penetrated me without preparing me. I screamed in pain, feeling every thrust as if he were pulling my insides out.
I'm so sorry, Master. I'll do better next time, Master. I love you. Thank you for disciplining me,Master. I deserve it. I'm a disgrace to you Master. Rip me apart with your fangs. Use me. Destroy me. Whatever makes you happy.

And he did. Like reading my thoughts, he tore into my neck, lapping hungrily at the blood that gushed out. It hadn't been this bad in a while. He must really be livid. He didn't even notice that I was hard. That I was getting off on his punishment. He was just pushing his beautiful cock in me. In me. In me.
I think I could feel him in the back of my throat. Speaking of said part of my anatomy, it burned like hell. Penance.

"I'm sorry Master. I'll do better." I croaked out at last and he grunted in his release, oblivious to my cum as I gazed at his face suffused in bliss.

I don't know if he heard me. But then his crimson eyes locked with mine and I gulped reflexively. His stare was intense and I was forced to avert my eyes. Don't look Master in the eyes. Why did I break this rule?

"My poor little pet. Do you even know why you should be apologizing? Why you were punished?" he crooned, touching my cheek.

I shook my head, blood still pouring from my neck. I saw black spots in front of my eyes and blinked them away. No. I had to stay awake. He grinned viciously, gripped my hair and tugged my head to the side angrily, causing my wound to open more, allowing the blood to flow more freely. He leaned down, licking at it, prodding his tongue in like he was fucking my neck. I felt the thick muscle playing with the artery and tendons there. I wanted to scream. But I bit my lip viciously to remain silent, knowing my Master required it of me. I was to accept this. It, too, was punishment.
Finally he pulled away and bit my ear harshly.

"I saw Snape kissing you in the hall."

My eyes widened. I never wanted that! Never! That flea bitten mutt had cornered me! Told me he could be a better Master. Told me sweet nothings that only served to piss me off.

"Master! He said he could be better than you! I never wanted that but he forced himself on me! I was off dreaming about the fluffy things I'd seen in the garden and wasn't paying attention."

Eyes narrowed at me, he used our link to infiltrate my memories of the event. With a howl of rage he scratched at my chest with his nails, drawing more blood and inwardly I winced. It was going to be hard to clean out of the sheets.

"I will deal with him for this betrayal. First I must deal with you. I know I said I would never turn you. I didn't want you to feel such an insanity inducing pain. However, I find I don't much care. You didn't push him off of you. You did not obliterate him. You allowed him to touch what is MINE. Therefore, I will turn you, my pet. And you will not leave this room until I am back." he commanded, mouth near my wound once more.

I shuddered in fear. I swallowed. I would do anything. Anything so that my Master wouldn't be angry with me anymore.

"Will this please you, Master?" I whimpered. No more mad. No more. I couldn't take it.

Master smirked, pointed fangs glistening as his red eyes flare in desire. Fuck I wish he would take me again.

"Yes. And if you do as I say you will be rewarded."

I nodded, blinking back more spots. Chuckling, he allowed venom to form a film on his fangs, then bit my already torn throat. I screamed and I was dimly aware of his pulling out and away. Dressing himself. Leaving. But then all I could focus on was the pain. The pain. Oh it screeched through my veins, ate at my skin. I felt it creep into my eyes and I desperately wanted to claw at them. It was as if needles were being jammed into my body, tearing at my skin, poking my insides.
Oh mister black sheep
Have you any wool?
No sir. No sir.
You're a fool.
I cried and screamed. Why wouldn't it end? Please Master! I'm sorry! I won't do it again! If ever anyone touches me. Looks at me. They'll die!
I love you!
I love you!
Oh please!

Suddenly all went black. Blissfully black.

When I awoke I was alone still. Hungry. But I could see so much better. And I was starving. Yes I know I repeated myself. I needed to eat. But I hadn't gotten his permission. I gnawed on my lip. Then moaned when I tasted the blood that flooded my tongue when my sharp fangs pierced it. Hungrily I turned my attention to my arm and began to bite at it instead.
This was how my Master found me.

"Poor little pet. Are you hungry?"

I whimpered as the metallic scent of blood wafted from the door. He held up a goblet to me and I wriggled on the bed like a puppy.

"Mine."
"Yours."
"Forever."
"Until I am no longer necessary."

He smirked and handed the goblet over. I guzzled the blood down and shivered. This was divine. Master's blood, I could tell. I let my tongue snake out and lap at the insides of the cup. I looked up at my Master and noticed he was covered in blood not his own, and tilted my head.

"Severus is dead my pet."

I shrugged. I didn't much care.

"Next time you will kill anyone who touches you."

I nodded willing to do anything.
I beamed at his next words as he flung me to the bed to take me once more.

"Good pet."

-end-

For those who asked...yus this is one of my newer ones as well. You can tell my older crappy blah from the newer ones lol! But the Sev/Harry and this one are both fairly new x3

Alright I'm going to go make some homemade veggie Tequitos now...rice/tomatoes/jalapeños/hotsauce...nom! I love you guys! Be safe!

-the Silent Observer-

Today was...

Difficult. I was regreting my PB crackers like whoa today. I was kind of freaking out because I had a big dinner (as per the agreement). And then as I was eating I figured I would add everything up and wouldn't you know I am only 585 cals. And then (even though I promised 600) I freaked out for a bit. (fat fat fat you fat fuck you shouldn't have eaten the crackers! 190 cals you didn't need all going to your fat self because you can't work it off!)....Then I remembered the end goal of this who recovery thing...and I was able to beat it down slightly. Still. It's there just beneath the surface.
Itching. Gnawing.
I wrote it all down in my 'diary' and then sat back to watch Soul Eater to take my mind off of it all. It's sorta working.

113-114 today though. What story do you guys want next? Voldie/Harry...another Draco/Harry...or my Nev/Harry? Thanks for all the encouragement guys. I needed it.
Love you all!

-the Silent Observer-

I'll Save You.

Day 2- I'm 112 today. I woke up with my heart beating rapidly...kinda made me nervous but I've stuck with my food plan. So far for breakfast I had Wheat Thins, and dried fruit. Lunch was Cereal/Silk and dried fruit. Tonight I'm having a turkey sammich(lol!)...dried fruit and veggies (a few more wheat thins to snack on so that I don't binge and feel anxious.)
But...so far...since I can't count the cals properly (hubby got rid of the boxes)...I'm winging it lol! So I'm kinda spazzing about it. But! I know I can do this.

On a separate note...I have the Sev/slave!Harry all ready for you! Enjoy!

I'll Save You-Sev/Harry-Warnings: Um...slash...character death (guess whoooo)...master/slave relationship...drug use...sex the usual lol! Enjoy!

ISY-

I took a drag of my cigarette as I sat by the window. At my feet was the man who had wanted to kill my Master. I released my smoke filled breath at the still form. I hated them all for what they had put my Master through.
My eyes trailed from the corpse at my feet to the slumbering body on the bed. We were at Spinner's End. My Master's home. He had rescued me almost a year ago from my cruel relatives. In return for seeing to my recovery, I had promised him to always protect him. He had merely scowled.
I smiled softly in remembrance.
And then one day...my Master slammed me against the wall, locked his lips on my own, and ravished me. All I could do in response was moan. Oh yes, my lovelies he really is that talented. We ended up admitting our feelings that night. He told me, if I allowed him to, that he would protect me, love me, take care of all my needs. I moaned like the whore I am and nodded. Then uttered the words that made him wild. He took me right there in that hallway. It was the first time, but not the last time, he would hear those words.

"Take me, Master."

Oh yes. Yes, I know what my place would be in our relationship. I didn't mind one bit. After all I was able to have food, a place to stay, a man to care for me, and hot hot sex.
Anyways.
He had had me hidden for a year now. Away from the Order, away from Voldie-head. And then one day (today in fact) my Master came home disoriented, a knife in his back and a Leech holding on. Said Leech's eyes bugged out when he spotted me. And I admit I may have...flipped out a bit. I growled my rage and with my temperamental magic, I crushed everyone in the Leech's body. Oh the blessed screams of agony! Even now I grow hard just remembering them. Oh! How he will reward me for keeping him safe. For destroying the menace.

I shivered and finished off my cancer stick, before flicking it out the window. I looked forward to it. And now the Menace was dead! Deader than dead. Wormy worm food. Fertilizer. No more would he annoy me with talk of how famous he wished he was. A moan from the bed drew my attention and I grinned excitedly. My Master slowly sat up. I felt like a wiggly puppy.

"H-Harry?" his velvet voice filtered through the room and my already hard cock jumped at the sound.

I moaned heatedly in response. His onyx eyes zeroed in on my form and I smirked before kicking the body at my feet, drawing his attention there. Malicious glee lit in his dark gaze and I shivered at the sight. Oh yes, I was going to get fucked hard tonight.

"You destroyed him?" was the question asked, pride pouring out of him.

I smiled, wondering briefly if I had sprouted a tail; I swear I could hear it thumping.
"I crushed his bones and let him die slowly as I tended to you, Master." I stated, feeling a wicked grin light up my face.

My Master's lips twitched in amusement and he motioned for me to come to him. Immediately I went to my Master, stopping by the side of the bed. Once I was there he grabbed my wrist and yanked me on top of him. I scrambled to a sitting position, straddling my Master's lap. He smirked and brushed a thumb over my lips. I moaned and darted out my tongue to lick at the pad of said digit. His eyes sparked.

"Minx."

I grinned, unrepentant and slowly ground down my hips. Master groaned and gripped my hip, leaning up for a heated kiss. I was in heaven. On cloud nine. After a few minutes he pulled away, his face lined with worry as he felt all over my body.

"He didn't hurt you did he?"

I smiled warmly, touched by my Master's concern. He had pulled me from the jaws of our enemy and still he worried more for me than himself. I kissed a trail up his jaw then back down to his neck.

"I incapacitated him before he could even react. I made him watch me as I healed you. He screamed and pleaded with me to help him. And I told him to shove it. That I enjoyed the control you have. He seemed disgusted with that for some reason."

My Master chuckled and reconnected our lips for another heated kiss. I felt my Master's lovely cock harden under the covers ( he was quite naked), and press against my butt cheek. I shivered with anticipation.

"Good job, my Minx. I think that deserves a reward."

I moaned, and nodded my head, tilting my neck to the side to give my Master access. At once he latched onto my throat and nibbled and licked, causing me to gasp and clutch at his shoulders.

"I want you to finger yourself and ride me, Harry. That will be your reward."

My eyes widdened. My Master had never relinquished his control like that. No matter how sick or in pain he was. I felt so honored. So loved. My eyes watered and I nodded as I kissed my Master frantically. I wanted him to know that what he'd told me to do, was the greatest gift I could have ever been given.
So with a final kiss to his cheek, I put three fingers in my mouth, swirling them around, my tongue lapping at my digits. I moved the covers away and then arched my back, pulling out my fingers with an obscene pop. I saw the sparkle of lust in my Master's eyes and smirked. Seductively, I trailed my fingers down my chest, circled my hips to my butt cheeks and then pushed a finger past that tight ring of muscles and into my hot heat. I moaned and began to finger myself. My Master's hands gripped my hips to steady me. In no time I was thrusting in a second then a third finger, twisting and stretching. I curled my fingers, hitting my prostate and I cried out, fucking myself on those fingers that I imagined were my Master's.

"Enough." he croaked and positioned his cock at my entrance. With a devilish grin I slammed down, relishing the pain even as I was completely filled.

My Master moaned and without waiting for me to adjust, slammed up. I cried out again as he hit my prostate dead on and then I moved, riding him as he'd commanded.

"O-oh Master! So...so good!"

I felt so full. So warm. Owned. Dominated.

"Yes, my little Minx. Your body is greedily taking me in." he groaned out, his fingers bruising my hips.

I moaned and nodded. Yes my arse was greedy for his cock. Only his cock. I picked up my pace, and we shared another heated kiss. Passionate, raw, wild. Greedy. I was so greedy. But I didn't regret a moment of choosing the Potions Master, my Master, over everyone else in my life. He had never lied to me. Only loved me. Can you blame me for wanting to keep him to myself?

I didn't think so.

I was so close now. So close. More! There! Harder! Fuck!
I cried out his name in my release, my hole gripping his prick tight, and distantly I mused that he hardly had to touch me to get me to cum anymore. Soon after my Master emptied his essence into me and I sighed at the feel of it filling me up tothe brim. I simply loved my Master's come. He was marking me as his.
We shared some tender kisses after that. Gentle and loving. I whimpered in disappointment as his cock (glorious!) slipped from my arse.
My Master chuckled and cuddled me close. My eyes started to drift shut.

"You can sleep, Harry. I'll protect you. Thank you."

My velvet voiced Master pet my sides and back as I started falling asleep. I was safe. Safe. Safe.
*Thank you, Master Severus* I whispered in my head.

Sleepily I grinned. I wonder how he would react when he found the rest of the Order, dead, in the basement.

-the end?-

If there are mess ups again I ask for forgiveness. Wow he's kinda nuts in this one huh? Lol! I was watching Return to Oz and The Labryinth while typing it up lol! Totally kept getting distracted (snerk)...alright...I love you all! Be safe! Not exercising is driving me nuuuuuuuts! Lol!

-the Silent Observer-

Day 1 of operation Get Better

It was a surprising success. Don't get me wrong I worried like hello kitties...I have no more lax and I can't exercise because of my knee (that we are getting checked out sometime this week hopefully =_=....
So yeah...I was trying my best to calm down. It's still gnawing a me...and I know tomorrow is going to be hell cause I know I gained...and I'm so used to losing. But I can do this! I have to!
We were able to get alot of healthy food today. A biiig packet of dried fruit (mine has soy seeds in it! Win!)...wheat thins...fiber one...turkey meat...Silk...and honey wheat bread. We were finally able to get water too.
I was further show how scary low I'd gotten when the thigh part of my pants were super saggy. I didn't think I'd lost thigh fat at all and that shot that to hell in a hand basket.

By thank you for all your support so far! It means alot! Good luck for those on MC...and good luck to those who want help but need the extra push to ask. It's ok! We will always love you! I know I will anyways. I will love and remember every single one of you until the day I die.

I hope I don't spazz too much tomorrow. Starting off cal intake will be 600 instead of 500. Then CM suggests I step it up (along with exercise) when I reach 115 again. Once I hit 115 it's 1200 cals and back to 220 push/sit ups.

I guess it's Sev/slave!Harry for you guys then lol! I'll post it tomorrow I promise!
Be safe you guys! I love you! Good luck!

-the Silent Observer-

Progress

Well everyone...
I have good news...kind of bittersweet actually. I told Hubby about my disorder finally. Told him about the emails...we both cried...and he made me promise to get better. He said he'd help even though he didn't know what to do. He was so scared that he really didn't want to leave me alone today...luckily it's a Sunday and so that means his day ends at 1 or 2.

He wants me to gain to 120 at least (he really wants me 140 again and I told him no dice...I can't or it will trigger me all over again. You know?) by he end of two months. I told him the main reason I want help...and he said we'd work on it after I reached a healthier weight. I told him it wasn't going to be easy...he asked me to increase my cal intake to 600 a day...and to not lie about how much I took in.
I think it's bittersweet because today I reached 111. I was equal parts happy and scared. Just how much further was I willing to go before I stopped?
I'm going to try to get help though. I am. I want children more than I'm willing to let this disease control my life. I know it will always niggle in the back of my head...but I won't let it control me anymore. I felt so relieved when, instead of laughing it off, he started crying. I know hat sounds mean. At first he pissed me off...telling me 'Just eat! It's that simple!'
Don't worry guys. Both I and my friend CM set him straight.
But then I made him read the emails and...poof suddenly he understood all of what I was attempting (and failing) to say.

So guys. Thank you! All of you! For your continued support and friendship. Please keep me in your collective prayers. Both for a child soon...and that I'm able to beat back this demon into remission/submission.
I love you. All of you! And I hope and pray...that all of you stay safe...that you all know how much I care...even if I get better. I will always care.

I love you all!

-the Silent (getting help) Observer-

Ps- also...what would you guys like to read next? HP/Fen...Sev/slave!Harry...Voldie/slave!Harry?....

When...

When you would rather go out with your 'friends' than help your wife...is it any wonder you don't know what disease she deals with everyday?
I know you aren't doing this on purpose...but I feel like the lowest person on your list right now. I hate this feeling. So when I've gotten so low that I'm in the hospital...WILL YOU SEE ME THEN?!

-the Silent Observer-

Silence! I kill you!

Ok so before I post the story...I thought I should share that I'm 114 today! Happy dances all around! I'm kind of resigning myself to the fact that hubby just...doesn't need to know right yet. Maybe. I really am lost and confused about this. So if it sounds like I'm being weird I apologize. I ate Green Beans with Tabasco: Chipolte on it. Oh gawd guys...if you love green beans...and hotsauce? I totally recommend it (thanks CM for suggesting it). It's low cal (Meg cal) and epically nummy!
Alright. Now for the story behind this...erm...story. A little bit ago hubby and I were at a party. These people were rowdy and inconsiderate of their housemates who hadn't been made aware of said party. Said roommates had work and needed sleep. Did the partiers care? Nope. It really aggravated me...as I would have at least told everyone they had to leave at a certian time you know? Anyways this story is for those of us that have gone through the same thing...and all we want to do is Avada Kedavra the lot of them.
Enjoy!

Silence! I Kill You!- Fenrir/Harry- Warnings: pissy Harry...mentions of slash...character deaths. Gay bashing (don't worry...the bitch dies...i dislike such people)

SIKY-

Harry rolled over, his eye twitching as the music from next door elevated to volumes incondusive to sleeping. What was their problem? He was trying to sleep! He and Fenrir had had a long (glorious MINDBLOWING ) night and he was tired. Sore. All he wanted to do was curl up in the fluffy comforter and blankets that still smelled of his lover, and go to dreamland until Fen came back.
He growled when there came arguments to join the cacophony of irritating sounds emanating from his neighbors. Really people? Some people had better things to do than drink and party like idiots. Like the war that was still bloody raging. Fenrir was gone for that reason exactly. He was on a mission for the Dark Lord and had been forced to leave early to gather his pack for his task. Bunch of muggles that needed to die and all that rot.
Speaking of muggles.
Harry tried to snuggle into his blankets again. He dragged his penguin and kitty plushies close to press them over each ear, attempting to drown out the horrid noise. It wasn't working. Who really needed to feel the music in their teeth? Did they really need their piss to vibrate?
He wanted to go over there and Crucio the lot of them. It was an interesting thought. An entertaining one.

The music and arguing escalated and Harry threw back the covers with a violent curse and dressed in a pair of Fenrir's silk boxers, ( not that the bastard ever wore them- friggin nudist). He grabbed his wand and opened the door to his room. He cursed some more when he stubbed his toe on one of his shoes and idly wondered if he could convince his lover to kiss it better. Snickering slightly, he flung open the front door to his apartment and stalked to his neighbor's.
He angrily knocked on the door.

A female with too much make up and too little clothes (was that a camel toe ? Harry threw up a little in his mouth) answered the door, popping her chewing gum as she leered at him. Harry's eye twitched once more. He hated women forthis reason exactly. Give him a nice hard cock and rock hard abs any day. Flabby boobs and camel toe? You could keep that to yourself.
Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he sneered.

"I'm trying to sleep, could you please turn it down?" he asked calmly. Oh the headache that was attacking his brain. He really wanted to strangle the bint.

She looked him over like he was a piece of steak and he nearly threw up again.
"Why don't you forget sleeping and join me? I can show you a good time, cutie."

Harry stiffened and glared at her.
"Number one. No. I'm in a committed relationship with a very handsome man. Two, I won't ask you again. Turn. It. Down."

The woman's face became puce coloured and Harry smirked viciously at her anger.
"Fuck you Fag!"

She slammed the door in his face. A few minutes later the volume reached maximum levels. Harry, meanwhile, felt a being throb in his temple and he felt the feral need to tear the bith to pieces.
That's it. They were all dead.
He withdrew his wand and cast Bombarda, followed by quite a few Avada Kedavra's. The partiers screamed as their friends dropped like flies thanks to the shirtless boy with a power stick. It was all over within minutes and then there was blessed silence.
Beautiful.

Harry left the now silent apartment and traveled back to his own. He locked the door behind him, returned to his room. He curled up under his covers and sighed in relief. He wondered how Fenrir would feel about the lack of neighbors. Maybe he'd get extra sex.
Snickering, he inhaled deeply as he cuddled his plushies and fell asleep.
Silence is golden.

-End-

So yus I know it's kind of crack-ish. It was meant merely as a venting story. Humor and all that blah. Lol! But I really hope ou guys enjoyed it! And remember it be time you come across one of these kinds of people lol! Maybe it will calm you down xD
Now please note...I have nothing against partiers. I have everything against inconsiderate people. Such as these. I love you all!
*huggles all her favorite gay people* I love you guys toooo!

- the Silent Observer-
(ps. Bloody iPod did it again guys! Sorry for the typos! Definitely was supposed to say 'Neg cals' not 'Meg cals' but I'm sure you guys understood -hopefully- Also 'being' is supposed to be 'Vein' Fuck! This won't let me scroll up either to fix it...sorry guys x_X)

What is wrong with me?

So I told hubby before he left for her house that we needed to talk when he got home. I knew he probably wouldn't check his email and I was right. He said ok and so I sat up waiting for him...figuring he'd be there for a few hours and then be home (I very rarely ever say 'We need to talk' so it should have concerned him enough to come home). What do you know he forgets and doesn't come home until 2 in the morning. Thusly I have chickened out in telling him (again!) face to face like CM keeps telling me I need to. But how can I when all the hints I'm throwing out there (for a blind person to see) are being ignored or looked over?!
I'm very close to giving up doesn't he see that? I know he loves me...but really?

On another note. Thank you guys for your kind words. I don't have much hope/strength/whatever to fight this off for much longer. It's killing me guys. In ways I'm sure only you guys can understand. I don't know if any of you believe in God...but please pray (send wishes...whatever) that I'm able to have my child really soon..and beat this shite back...with or without my husbands help. I've done shite on my own before. I can do it again if I need to.
It's slightly harder with this...but I'll figure something out.

Well my knee swelling has gone down..but it now pops and hurts (like it's rubbing against bone) when I move it. So hubby is still taking me (supposedly) to get it checked out.
Let's hope it's nothing that requires surgery.

I love you guys! I promise there will be a story tomorrow!
Thank you so much!
You Guys mean alot to me!
Love always,
-your Silent Observer-

Sooooo

So as proof that this is getting even worse? I ate half of a half bag of popcorn...4 sour patch kids...a packet of Taco Hell hotsauce (fire)....and a packet of PB crackers (190)...and I'm flipping out. Because earlier I had a piece of meat lovers pizza with alot of hotsauce.

I'm spazzing like all get out and...hubby is out again. With the people I'm no longer friends with. I'm alone at home and I'm just...spazzing.

-the Silent Observer-

Incredibly foolish?

So I just did something that is either going to help or hurt me. I'm a coward either way but at least he'll know now.
Yeah that's right. I sent an email to hubby telling him...rather subtly...that I have a problem and I need help. I'm scared he'll laugh at me...or try and force me to get better...or that he'll never read the email at all. But at leas I told him. In a way anyways. I just...I'm two pounds from my first UGW...and I already know that it won't be enough. I told you guys before that having a child meant more to me...and I was serious about it.

I'm scared because...what if I go into remission (tobf is right there really is no recovery...more like remission that some of us are lucky enough to achieve full time)...and hubby says we aren't having kids? I know I'll be at square one again. This time no stopping. But I have to try don't I?
Am I being stupid?
Am I trying for something yet again that is just unattainable?

Don't worry guys. I love you all. I won't stop blogging...and regardless of if I remiss or not...I'll encourage and keep track of you all. You guys have helped me so much. And like I said...nothing may happen...I just want to know...am I trying to reach for something that isn't there?

I actually want to go and erase the email. I know I can't and it's sent and all. But. I just don't know anymore. Now I'm having secondthoughts. "You don't need help! You were fine! 115 is too fat! You haven't reached your goal! Quitter just like your father!"

Now I want to hide.
I'm scared guys. Scared of losing more...scared of hubby's reactions...scared of getting help.

Anyways. I'll post another story tomorrow. Or tonight if hubby goes out. I love you guys! Please be safe! Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

-the Silent (spazzing) Observer-

Distance Made Equal

First, thank you all for trying to cheer me up. I realize I was being silly but 820 seems sooo high and since I can't really exercise (shouldn't but did anyways yesterday)it flips me out. I love you all for the encouragement! And I promise I'm getting my knee Becker out sometime Saturday. Have to wait until hubby gets paid lol!

Secondly, I thought I'd start with my oldest Harry Potter story! (Thank you forthe compliments on my OC story xD Aren't Fawn and Rabbit so adorable?). I warn you now...Harry is always a submissive in my stories. I love him this way and I am one so Harry will be lol! Also I only write slash. Sooo if you don't like Yaoi you might want to skip.
Alot of my stories are oneshots too. So anyways. Here we go.

Distance Made Equal- Draco/Harry-Warnings: mentions of attempted rape. Slash. Ron bashing if you squint and tilt your head to the side.

DME-

Draco heard sniffles as he neared the staircase that led to the upper floors of Hogwarts. He was intrigued despite himself and hurried closer, a ready taunt on his lips. It died quickly when he spotted a battered and thoroughly mussed up Harry Potter. Bane of his existence and...was he cradling his jaw? Rubbing at an ankle?
Draco paused. Harry looked like he'd been beaten severly. Maybe even...

The blond Slytherian inwardly balked at that thought. No one would dare touch Potter like that. Feeling oddly angry at whoever had hurt the Gryffindor prodigy, he glided closer to the bespectacled teen. Those emerald eyes met his own mercury ones and Draco bit on a gasp. Such pain resided in those green jewels that for a moment Malfoy wondered if there had ever been happiness in their depths. Finally, their intense eye battle ended as Harry looked away.

"Whatdo you want, Malfoy?"

Draco winced at the tired and deflated tone. For a second time in a matter of minutes, Draco wanted to throttle whoever had done this damage to his prey.

"You look like shite, Potter." he stated with a raised brow.

The laugh that Harry barked out was amused as well as irritated in sound.
"Always the charmer, huh Malfoy?" his eyes were slightly wary, but if Draco looked closely he noted the was mild amusement.

Draco flashed him a quick smirk before his brows furrowed.
"Who did this to you?" he questioned calmly. His eyes of silver, however, glinted with his anger.

Harry looked away again, a flash of shame, anger, pain, and finally defeat passed trough his gaze. The hand on his jaw dropped to his lap and he curled in on himself.
"Leave it be Malfoy." he moaned and winced when a twinge shot through his leg.
"Fuuuck." he hissed and clutched at his ankle.

Draco tsked in annoyance and dropped to his knees. He gently but firmly prodded Harry's hands away and took the injured ankle in question into his hands.

"Malfoy what- ah!" came the surprised gasp and Draco smirked a moment before resuming his massage of Harry's injured limb.

"Sprained is all." the Slytherian muttered and watched with satisfaction as Harry's eyelids fluttered shut, a moan of pleasure escaping his lips.

"Feel better?" Draco inquired and shivered when Harry arched into his touch.

The blond narrowed his eyes. So the rumors were true. Potter was into cock. He filed that away as he pressed into a particularly knotted spot and almost creamed his pants when Harry arched again and gasped out :
"Oh gods, Draco!"
He applied the pressure of his fingers to that spot. After a while he deemed Harry fit enough to at least limp without too much pain. He reluctantly let Harry's foot go and sat back to look the panting teen over.

"Tell mewhat happened, Harry." he said softly, eyes never leaving Harry's emerald gaze when it finally rested on him.

The raven haired teen licked at his bottom lip and Draco's eyes immediately zeroed in on the action.

"Why do you suddenly care, Draco?"

Since when had they been on first names? Draco mentally shrugged. Whatever. Harry intrigued him. He'd never seen the 'Chosen' Harry Potter so...off guard. Harry continued to appear cautious and Draco finally shook his head.

"I don't rightly know. You should answer anyways. I don't feel like badgering you all night but I will."

Harry winced and dragged a shaking hand through his hair. He nervously licked at his lips and Draco felt his cock harden. That tongue was sinful.

"I..." he paused," I was beaten...and almost...almost..." Harry shuddered and swallowed, tightly closing his eyes. He never noticed Draco's eyes glitter with supressed rage.

"Raped?" Draco supplied and nearly growled when Harry flinched and timidly nodded.

"Who did it?" he whispered, a portrait of perfect calm.

Harry knew better. He'd been secretly obsessed with Malfoy for years. He knew the Slytherian better than he knew his own friends. He secretly loved the older teen.
"It doesn't matter, Draco." he whispered and bowed his head.

Abruptly his companion stood. Expecting to be hit, the Gryffindor Seeker flinched, and was ashamed o the weakness. He heard Draco curse then felt those thin pale fingers rest under his chin, forcing him to lock gazes with fiery silver eyes. Harry couldn't hide his moan of arousal even if he wanted to. The look Draco was giving him was possessive...hot. The Slytherian's eyes fluttered at the sound.

"Answer me Harry."

It was a command that Harry, against all his instincts, couldn't deny.
"Crabbe. Goyle. They cornered me after Snape let me out of detention." he rasped and watched with surprise as Draco's expression changed from shock to disgust.

"Maggots." came Malfoy's hiss of hatred and Harry shrunk a little.

Seeing the reaction, the Slytherian Seeker's countenance softened and he gently ran his other hand through Harry's hair, eliciting another groan of arousal.
"I shall deal with them." Draco's voice dripped with promises Harry couldn't even begin to interpret.

Harry leaned into the blond's touch and sighed.
"Draco. Why do you care?"

The teen stiffened but resumed his gentle touches.
"No one hurts what is mine." was the growled response.

Emerald met silver, desire crackling in the air and Harry found himself not minding one bit at the thought of being ravished right then and there.
"Yours?"
Draco nodded and leaned down to swiftly and passionately claim Harry's mouth with his own. Harry groaned and was going to lean further in when a rush of footsteps drove them apart.

"Harry!"

"Blimey Harry! We got here as fast as we could!"

Draco sneered and stepped back, making Harry whimper at the loss. After a second of debate, the snake resumed his previous task of running his hand in Harry's hair.
The lion in question sent him a grateful look and Draco preened at the attention.

"Malfoy?"

Draco cast a glare at Granger and Weasley as they stopped beside their friend. Seeing their astonished faces brought him endless amounts of amusement.
"Granger. Weasley. So nice of you to make an appearance."

This produced a string of curses from Weasley, who made to step forward but was waylaid by Harry, who stood with a yelp and limped in front of Draco.
"Stop, Ron. I've had enough violence for one night." Harry said through clenched teeth, new pain in his ankle making him favor his leg.

Draco rolled his eyes and sidled up beside Harry, dragging the brunet's arm over his shoulder, even as he slipped his arm around Harry's waist. He was rewarded with a small smile of graditude and the blond nodded slightly.

"Harry who did this to you?" asked Hermione, causing Harry to tense and Draco to growl.

"Don't worry about it, Granger." Draco snapped and felt a new anger sweep through him when he felt Harry relax against him once more.
*Stupid Mudblood, making Harry remember this shite all over again.* Draco though viciously.

Ron scowled.
"Fuck off, Malfoy! He's our friend and it's our right to know!"

Draco sneered and was going to reply when he felt Harry steak ten a little. Even the snake gasped when Harry laid his head on Draco's shoulder.
"Don't goad them, Draco."

Draco clenched his teeth but he sniffed and nodded. Surprise flitted through Hermione's eyes before a small grin could be seen.
"Forgive us Harry. You know how much we care for to." she turned her all knowing gaze on Draco and tilted her head." I suppose you know who they are and intend to make these miscreants suffer?"

Draco's smile was purely preditorial as he gave a curt nod. Hermione chuckled darkly then sighed. Grabbing Ron's robes, she tugged on them as she started back down the hall.
"Take care of him, Malfoy. I don't want to have to hex you and make Harry angry." was the young woman's reply and Draco snorted.

He liked her in spite of himself. His attention reverted Weasley, who was glaring a him but saying nothing as he was toted off. Then they were gone and Harry fully sagged against Dracos body.

"Draco, please, take me to Madame Pomfrey or something. This pain is too much." came Harry's whispered voice and Draco cursed his slowness of doing the healing sooner.

"You don't need her. Not for a sprain."
Harry winced.
"it's not just a sprain you nit. I think I have a broken rib or two."

Dracos rage at his former friends increased.
"Right. Let's go."

They started off at a slow pace and they were silent for sometime.

"Draco"
"Hm?"
"Thank you."

Draco lifted a perfectly sculpted brow but nodded. He knew Harry would have done the same for him, regardless of their roles in each other's lives.

"Harry."
"Yes?"
"I meant what I said earlier."

A puzzled pause.
"About what?"

Draco locked gazes with Harry once more and growled low.
"You are mine."
He witnessed with unconcealed pleasure as his words caused Harry to pant.

"Ok," another pause," But that means you are mine as well." Harry snapped, a sudden fierceness in his green eyes.

Draco scoffed but smiled gently.
"Whatever Harry."

Harry grinned and Draco felt as if he'd been suckerpunched.
"When I'm better, we'll see who claims who first, Draco."

A shiver stole through the blond and he licked his lips with a feral grin.
"I look forward to it, lover."

Harry blushed and as they entered Madame Pomfrey's domain, wondered exactly where this new road would take him. He grinned. He couldn't wait to find out.

-end-

Ok I know it's OOC, like whoa, but it was my first HP story. And I also know that people who are abused don't trus so easily afterwards (trust me I know first hand)...but it is only a oneshot..and it's AU. In my mind (however unrealistic it might end up being) I likethe happy fluffy endings. I've been working on making my newer work more realistic...so please bare with my older writing style TT-TT it's so horrible lol!
Also this story is after Voldie-love has been defeated(sob!).

Well now that I can't see without my eyes crossing...I'll leave this for ou guys to read. I hope you like it! Love you all! And be safe!

-The Silent Observer-

(ps. *checked not Becker...my iPod has auto correct and for some reason the touch screen likes being a jerk off. Lol! If there are anymore I'm sorry!)

No mas!

Ok so... I'm kind of sad. Ok really I'm flipping out. I haven't said anything here I don't think but my knee has been swollen since Saturday. Sunday it was bad enough I had trouble walking but I could still pretty much walk on it. Yesterday and today I'm forced to walk on my tippy toes because I can't put full weight on my left leg. It's like my knee is numb and there's almost a squishy gel like cushion in between my leg bones instead of a kneecap. It's really hard to explain and I promise that's not accurate completely..but that's the best I can do.
Soooo because of this I can't really exercise (I totally cheated and did sit ups on the bed lol!). So you'd think I would be careful not to binge right? Nope. I had a slice of pizza. Theeeen I found myself with another one and by the time I'd come to my senses it was totally too late. I had a total of 820 calories today (had a soda) and I feel fat bloated and disgusting. I really want to cry. So as punishment I'm folding up my hurt leg (even though it hurts) and I'm just waiting it out.

On a side note...I added more to Death's Sacrifice even though I'm still stuck on chapter 1 lol! Also I'd like to post another story but I need help deciding what to post. I have Beyblade, one Digimon, Yu Yu Hakusho, Soul-Eater, Naruto, Bleach, and Harry Potter. I have a few originals buuut I'm really scared about posting them as they are no where near done.

So if you guys have any requests please suggest them! And I'll rummage through my pile( huge stack) of notebooks for your preferred theme lol!

I love you guys! Be safe!

-the Silent Observer-

The Thieves

Ok so first I'd like to warn you guys that this is Twincest,ok? I'm a big fan of it and all that hoopla. Also I'm still 115. Totally random lol! Annnd I should really warn you that this is old. Like...2003-04 old. My writing has improved (slightly) so I apologize for it's...roughness. It ends abruptly because my ideas fizzled out lol! So any plot ideas and the like would be lovely guys...

The Thieves- Fawn/Rabbit- Warnings: Slash...Twincest...magic...stealing (it's wrong kids! Lol)...child abuse (of multiple kinds)...and if there's anything I missed I'm sorry. Onward!

T.T.-

Fawn winced as the leather strip bit into his skin. He had to get free! Who else was going to save his twin? He heard a familiar scream echo through the halls of their house, and it made him even angrier.

"The old man's getting better." he stated and struggled harder against his leather restraints.

Of the two of them, Fawn was the stronger and more agile. Where as his brother was more docile, Fawn had no problem with beating you to a pulp and then asking your bleeding corpse questions later on. Most people stayed clear of Rabbit when Fawn was nearby. Thy knew if they tried anything, Fawn would most likely kill them.
However, that didn't matter. Rabbit and Fawn were never apart. Their powers were heightened when together, making them even stronger.

"Rabbit." he whispered, knowing his brother was in extreme pain.

SNAP!

Fawn broke free of his bonds and raced out of the closet he had been placed into, and down the hall where his brother was being beaten. He smashed open the door and stopped. Never had he seen so much blood. Especially since it was his brother's. Fawn growled and glared angrily at their father. His anger increase when he noticed that his brother's pants were no longer on his slender form. Not only had he been beaten, he'd been sodomized.

"Father. How dare you!" he ground out behind clenched teeth.

Their father turned away from Rabbit, who was staring at his brother with wide frightened eyes, and towards Fawn.

"Why do you complain? You have sex with him every night if you can." Father pointed out.

Fawn clenched his fists. His blue eyes darkened to the colour blue streaked in his black hair. He lowered his head.

"Yes. I do it because he has allowed me to. He said he loved me and only me. And I..." his eyes met Rabbit's. They softened slightly as he continued,"...I love him."

A small whimper escaped Rabbit's lips as he turned his head and began to cry.

Fawn brought his attention back to his Father.
"Let him go."

Father refused.

Fawn readied himself to fight and cast another loving glance his brother's way.

"Fawn!"

The scene was fading around him.
What was going on?
"Fawn!"

---

"Fawn!"

Fawn awoke to his brother's concerned face, inches from his own. He slowly opened his eyes and was met with a relieved sigh. How had he ended up like this to begin with? He searched his memory and blinked in remembrance. Rabbit and he had been on a mission to take the most valued Owl Ivory Statue ever made. They had been successful but had been knocked out in the process due to unforeseen magical traps.

"Fawn are you ok? Hey!"

Fawn's blue eyes swiveled to catch his brother's green ones.
"Shut up, idiot," he croaked, and Rabbit grinned, leaning forward to hug him close.

The heat from his body sent shockwaves of pleasure through Fawn's. He moaned in response to the close contact. He had promised himself he would never tell his brother how he felt for him but it was getting increasingly hard for that to happen. His brother, thankfully, mistook his moan for one of pain, and sat back. The worry had returned to his gaze.

"Did I hurt something?"

Fawn rolled his eyes and slowly sat up.
"No, stupid. Where are we?" he looked around him inquisitively. He was in a room. Not too big yet not small either. It's walls were black and it's curtains were a dark crimson velvet. The bed he was on (or rather...in), was a queen sized bed with tall dark wooden posts and a black canopy over top. The sheets were thick and had intertwined red dragons in flight as it's design. The black background enhanced the effect of the portrait. The pillows were satin, matching the over all colour scheme of the room. Red ribbons decorated their top two corners while lace trim traced the outside.
Rabbit giggled at Fawn's open mouthed expression.

"Remember that hideout I'd told you I'd made? This is it. Don't worry. Jerry has the statue."

Fawn took a second look and whistled.
"You've been doing this how long?"

Rabbit winked but shook his head.
"I'm not telling you anything." he replied with a grin.

Fawn hit him with one ofthe pillows. Rabbit giggled and hit back...thus insued the pillow fight. Fawn secretly vowed he would make his twin laugh and giggle as much as he could. He decided it was a sound he liked hearing. He remembered his dream and sighed. Although the events were true...the confessing was only fantasy. His brother and he hadn't even shared the bed except for sleeping. In a way it made Fawn want his brother even more. They had no one except for each other. So naturally, when Fawn was alone, he'd be found jerking off to a picture of his brother. Or a fantasy of them making love. He couldn't help it. Compared to all the people, male or female,he'd met, his brother wasthe only one he wanted. The only one he could trust.
He shook himself from his thoughts and brought up the pillow in his hands too late.

FWUMP!

He lay back on the bed, laughing. Something he only did when he was with his brother. He lay like that for a long while, just laughing, until his brother pounced on him. Rabbit landed on his brother's stomach. Although Fawn could feel Rabbit's closeness, he supersede his urge to moan and instead giggled a bit. He poked Rabbit's side, causing said boy to wiggle on top of him.
Bad move.
Fawn moaned and turned his head to the side, gripping the sheets of the bed as pleasure wracked his entire body. Rabbt stopped, thinking he'd hurt his brother in some way.

"Fawn? What's wrong?"

Fawn fought the urge to press his hips against his twin's and locked eyes with said boy. Rabbit saw an emotion he'd seen only once before. The look of lust his father had had before he'd sodomized him. The look, he noticed with excitement and relief, was slightly different in his brother's eyes.

"You remember when you told me you loved me? And I shrugged it off?"

Rabbit nodded.

"I did that because I love you too. More than I should."

Rabbt was confused now. He stated as much.

"I want you."

Rabbit blinked, then it sank in what his twin was telling him.
"You want to do what father did?"

Fawn winced. He'd forgotten. Rabbit had experienced the less then pleasent side of sex. He shook his head.
"Not exactly. I won't be after you purely out of lust. I do love you. More than anyone. I want to be with you."

The blond twin blinked again.
"So you're asking me...to be your boyfriend?" a light of joy played in his green eyes.

Fawn nodded slowly.
Rabbit leaned forward and laid his head on Fawn's chest. He sighed.
"I love you too,Fawn. More than anyone. Ever." he finally replied.

Fawn moaned in relief and brought up his arms to wrap around his brother. They stayed in each other's arms for quite a while. Neither paying any attention to what was happening around them. Finally, when they began to stir again, they disengaged their bodies from one another. Rabbit stood and lightly brushed himself off.

"You want anything to eat?" he asked with a smile.

Fawn laughed nervously as his stomach rumbled.
"Sure." he replied.
Rabbit giggled and walked out of the room.

---

A knock at the door signaled they were no longer alone. They couldn't discuss what they were going to do next in terms of the next hit. Rabbit opened the door to his hideout and grinned even before he uttered the word 'hello'. Fawn was confused until he saw who it was.

"Theo? Is that you?" he asked, trying to sit up properly.

The silver eyed ex-priest bowed his head in respect.
"Fawnie." he replied with a sneer, his deeper baritone shook the twins to their marrow whenever he spoke.

Fawn glared at the brown haired twenty eight year old.
"Ha.Ha. Ha. Cut the crap, what are you doing here?"

Rabbit looked at his brother guiltily as he changed positions from his Mentor's side to his twin's.
"Sorry. I invited Master to come over. He promised to help you with your shielding technique." he confessed.

Theodore smiled and nodded. Fawn was surprised. Theo normally didn't smile for anyone. A momentary flash of protectiveness shot through him until he noted that Theo was smiling at Rabbit as if he were older brother to them. Fawn sighed in relief and relaxed a bit.

"So when can the lazy bum get out of bed?"

Lazy?!
Fawn gritted his teeth and retrained himself from coming back with a scathing retort. Rabbit found it funny and giggled.
"In a few days unfortunately. Would you like to stay until then?" the green eyed thief asked, straightening the covers that still hid Fawn's body from sight.

Theo nodded. He was more than happy to do that. Of course he was also very hungry. Rabbit snickered and bounded off to make something for his Mentor. When he was gone, Theodore turned to look Fawn over.
"Now. I see he's happier than normal. Is he ok?"

Fawn blushed and looked away.
"He's fine."

Theo grinned.
"You told him didn't you?"
A nod.
"He accepted?"
The blush that fanned across Fawn's nose darkened and he nodded again.
Theo smiled, happy-if not a little jealous- for the twins.

--that's it--

Yup that's all I had! See what I mean? My brain just went poof and died. Ok some explanations. Fawn and Rabbit share powers over elements. But Fawn's powers are mostly defensive (although they are very aggressive) while Rabbits are offensive. Theodore's power is over the music element and he has both the offensive and defensive abilities. He found the twins after they had run off from their father. He's beenteaching them for about two years by the time this story starts up. Jerry is their contact. He tells them of different places they can hit, to steal a magical object that would otherwise be used as a weapon against other elementals likethemselves. They basically are like Robin Hood I suppose lol!
Theo kinda has a crush on Rabbit, but Rabbit and Fawn only have eyes for each other. I never came up with actual names for them soooo suggestions would be nice too lol! That is if this story grabbed at you. I'd have to re-write it and all that but..I don't mind as it's only three pages in anyways. Let me know what you think!

-the Silent Observer-